Chapter 10responsibilities, financial worries, over-
scheduled calendars, and behavior problems
in children. In addition, major transitionstend to increase family stress. These include
job or school changes, loss of a job, family
moves, the addition of new family members
(birth or adoption), parent-child problems,
or deaths of loved ones.
Stress in Men.Evidence suggests men’s
participation in family activities is
increasing (Daly & Hawkins, 2005; Pleck,
1999). Historically, nurturing and
childcare has been the domain of women;
therefore, mothers and women caretakers
experience much social and cultural
support. As more men participate in these
activities, they often find themselves in a
largely private struggle to accommodate
increasing family responsibilities with
their typical male roles. Social and cultural
support for them has been slow to keep
pace. This is reminiscent of what working
women experienced when first trying to
break through the “glass ceiling.” Their
support network was minimal. Fathers
now have to deal with the stress resulting
from too many demands, too little time,
and too many “to do” lists which once
were thought to be a woman’s domain
(Daly & Hawkins, 2005).
Work Stress.The prevalence of stress in
today’s working environment has a direct
impact on families. One-fourth of
employees view their jobs as the number-
one stressor in their lives (Employee
burnout, 1991/1999). Problems at work are
more strongly associated with health
complaints than are any other life
stressors—even more than financialSIDEBAR10.2
Risking It All
(This is a true story based on a client’s experience.)
The couple came in for marriage counseling.
The wife had just discovered that her husband
had taken $60,000 of their retirement savings and
invested it in some very high-risk investments
without her knowledge. He had lost it all.
She obviously was furious.Her salary was their
primary income. Thus, in actuality, it was the
money she had worked so hard for. She tried for
a while to make the marriage work. The fact that
he had concealed this from her, and then lied to
her when she questioned him, made it difficult.
The final straw came the day she learned he had
cashed in their mutual funds.She was livid.After he
had depleted their savings,he had the nerve to cash
in their mutual funds! When he was questioned,he
admitted to playing the stock market again.He had
become obsessed with it over the years. When the
wholestoryunraveled,headmittedtotakingsmaller
amounts of money even earlier in their marriage.
Theamountshadincreasedovertheyears.Sinceshe
trusted him, she had let him manage the money—
never having a reason to question him. Or so she
thought.
This story has a sad ending. Her faith and trust
in him was destroyed,and she ended the marriage.
She is now single and raising their two teenage
children, with only about 15 years left to save for
retirement. He continues to play the stock market,
thinking he will strike it rich someday, and then
maybe she will come back to him. His greed and
get-rich-quick mentality cost him his marriage and
his family. And it cost his family the benefit of a
husband and a father.
Source:Author