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Same-Sex Couples

Despite the generally inhospitable
social climate gay men and lesbians
encounter, it is evident that being part of a
couple is important to them. We will now
look at some of the relevant topics for
same-sex couples.
In the last chapter we looked at how
couples in satisfied relationships must find
some kind of balance in household labor.
The same is true for same-sex couples.
Research has found same-sex couples are
more likely than heterosexual couples to
negotiate this balance, taking into
consideration different interests, skills,
and work schedules (Kurdek, 2005;
Patterson, 2000).
Conflict is inevitable in all couple
relationships, including same-sex
relationships. There are some differences,
however. Gottman et al. (2003) found that
same-sex couples began conflict and
maintained it more positively than their
heterosexual counterparts. One possible
reason for this is they have fewer
differences in power and status between
them than do opposite sex spouses. It is
interesting to note same-sex couples
identify the same areas of conflict as
heterosexual couples—finances, affection,
sex, criticalness of each other, driving style
and household tasks (Kurdek, 2004a).
Same-sex couples, in contrast to
heterosexual couples, are less likely to
identify family members as sources of

support (Kurdek, 2004b; LaSala, 2002).

This lack of family support is often viewed

as a stressor. This is one of the largest

differences between same-sex couples and

heterosexual couples. Despite the lack of

family support, same-sex couples enjoy a

high degree of support from friends,

which may help compensate for the lack

of family support (Kurdek, 2004b).

Several studies have examined the

stability of same-sex relationships. The

findings indicate the dissolution rate for

same-sex couples is higher than for

heterosexual couples (Kurdek, 2004b;

Andersson et al., 2004). Dissolution of a

same-sex relationship is likely to have the

same impact on children as that of a

cohabiting couple with children. This is a

paramount difference between the two

couple types. Same-sex spouses do not

have the institutionalized barriers—social,

legal, and religious—that married

heterosexuals have against leaving their

relationship. This is one of the arguments

used by advocates of same-sex marriage to

legalize same-sex marriage.

Same-sex couples and families are

affected by certain risk factors to a greater

extent than heterosexual couples and

families. Studies have shown gay, lesbian

and bisexual individuals are at a greater

risk of suicide attempts and completed

suicides (Cochran et al., 2007; D’Augelli et

al., 2005; Silenzio et al., 2007). They also

report a history of more childhood

psychological and physical abuse by

Cultural Variations in Marriage and Family