Myth 2: Family violence is confined to the
lower class.In fact, violence occurs in all
social classes. Police records, victim
services, and research have shown abuse
exists equally in all socioeconomic groups,
regardless of race and culture. While
abusers come from all walks of life, some
types of families are more prone to abuse
than others. People in families who
experience structural strain (e.g.,
intermarriage, many children,
unemployment, social isolation, or special
needs children) are more prone to violence.
Myth 3: Alcohol and drugs are the real
cause of abuse in the home.While many
abusers also use drugs and alcohol, these
are two separate problems. Abusers,
whether intoxicated or high, typically
control their behavior until they are in
private, where abuse can go undetected.
Myth 4: Battered spouses like being hit
and/or are responsible for the violence;
otherwise, they would leave.While people
generally feel sorry for battered children
because they are helpless to stop the
violence, battered spouses are often blamed
for their own situation. Many people do
not understand why battered spouses may
feel trapped in their marriages, seemingly
powerless to support themselves away from
their abusive spouses.
Myth 5: Children who are abused will
grow up to be abusers.While people from
violent homes are more likely to become
violent themselves, the cycle is not
automatic. It is possible to break the cycle
of violence and form a family life
remarkably different from the family of
origin (Widom & Brzustowicz, 2006).
Myth 6: Domestic violence is a “loss of
control.”Violent behavior is a choice.
Abusers use violence to control their
victim. Domestic violence is about using
control, not losing control (Domestic
Violence Handbook, 2007).Expressing anger is not wrong as long as it is
controlled and not emotionally or verbally abusive.Conflict in FamiliesAn extremely destructive form of
conflict is the use of violence.© iStockphoto.com / fredpal
© iStockphoto.com / juanmonino