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Chapter 12

same time, Christians can help change a

society which in many ways supports

violence as a means to resolve conflicts.

The good news is efforts to educate

and reduce violence in families appear to

be having an impact. In 2005, the U.S.

Justice Department announced the rate

of family violence fell by more than one

half between 1993 and 2002, from an

estimated 5.4 victims to 2.1 victims per

1,000 U.S. residents 12 years old and

older. Half of the victims were abused by

their spouse, about 10% were children

abused by a parent and about 40%

involved abuse by another family

member.

Christians need to lead the way to be

Christ’s hands and feet in extending mercy

to victims and justice to abusers.They need

to continue to spread Christ’s message of

peace and hope in a world full of violence.

In their own families,Christians can be

important role models of peace and

compassion in dealing with family conflicts.

Conflict in family relationships is

inevitable. The more people love each

other, the more intensely they will

disagree. If families do not utilize

constructive conflict management skills,

conflicts can tear a family apart.

Constructive conflict management

includes looking at the disagreement from

a different perspective. Instead of placing

blame on a personality flaw, family

members should seek to change the

situation contributing to the conflict.

Rather than avoiding conflict in order

to keep the peace, a family must utilize the

rules of fair fighting to peacefully resolve

conflicts. This includes finding the right

time and place, sticking to the issue,active

listening, and maintaining a good attitude.

Destructive conflict can result in

violence. About 1 in 4 couples will have a

violent episode at some point in their

marriage. Many parents utilize some

appropriate (even biblical) physical forms

of discipline with their children; but for

some families, this can escalate into

physical abuse. Destructive conflict tends

to run in a cycle of conflict, violence,

apology, and reconciliation; each time the

violence becoming more intense than

before. The best solution for a violent

family is to separate the abuser from the

victims. Personality change for the abuser

does not come easily. However, it is very

difficult for victims to leave their abusers

because they fear life outside the family.

Victims need to be supported in

establishing a life away from the abuser.

Christians can help reduce destructive

conflict by promoting constructive conflict

resolution. They can act as models of

Christ’s peace in a world filled with violent

images.

Summary