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Chapter 4

The History of Dating

Inmostculturesthroughouthistory,
marriageswerearrangedbyparents.The
generalthinkingwasteensandpreteens
couldnotmakereasonablemarriage
decisionsforthemselves.Thus,theparents,
whohadmuchmoreknowledgeandwisdom
aboutmarriagethantheirchildren,made
marriagechoicesforthem.Thesemarriages
oftenoccurredwhenthemarriagepartners
wereveryyoung.Sometimes,themarriages
werenotconsummateduntilmuchlater.

Supervised Dating: Keeping Company

Asvariousculturesraisedtheageat
whichpeoplecouldmarry,youngmenand
womenbegantotakemoreandmoreofa
roleinchoosingtheirmates.Ineighteenth-
andnineteenth-centuryAmerica,young
people,withthepermissionoftheir
parents,wereallowedtogettoknowone
anotherbeforetheyofficiallybecame
engaged.Thiscametobeknownas
“calling”or“keepingcompany.”It
involvedadultsupervisionandverystrict
customsregardingwhatactivitieswere
permitted.Callingwasverymuch
controlledbythewoman,whowould
invitethegentlemantocall.Permitted
activitiesmightincludesittingand
talkinginthefamilyparlor,attending
churchfunctionstogether,andgoingto

theoccasionalcommunitydance,along

withparentsandsiblings(Bailey,2004).

Marriageoccurredonlywiththepermission

oftheparents.Itbecamecustomaryforthe

suitortoaskthewoman’sfatherfor

permissiontomarryhisdaughter.

Dating Independently

AfterWorldWarI,datingcustoms

begantochange.AsAmericabecamemore

industrialized,parentsoftenworkedaway

fromhomeleavingyoungpeoplewith

increasedfreedomwithoutsupervision.As

youngpeoplebecameresponsiblefor

structuringtheirfreetime,datingbecame

anactivityinitsownright,creatinganew

socialinstitution(Olson&DeFrain,2006).

Somescholarsattributemuchof this

changetotheautomobile,whichmade

“goingout”possible(Bailey,2004;Whyte,

Dating in the early to mid 1900’s involved adult supervision.

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