The Times - UK (2022-02-21)

FUNNY

OLD

GAME

Comedian

George Lewis

reflects on the

week’s action

On Saturday Everton

were back to their losing

ways and my first thought

went to their new manager,

Frank Lampard, because of

something that happened in

an interview the week before.

When asked what it felt

like to hear the Everton fans

singing “Super Frankie

Lampard” he couldn’t hide

how happy he was. It made me

realise how rare and nice it is

to see someone react to the

chants about them (and sad

that he won’t have heard it at

the weekend).

I think a lot of fans assume

that when we sing, those on

the pitch can’t really hear what

we’re saying. It’s possibly why

large sections of Old Trafford

remain quiet throughout

entire matches. But Lampard’s

reaction tells us this isn’t the

case. When they hear a chant

about them — good or bad —

they have just trained

themselves to maintain a

poker face, in the same way

you or I do when the barber

cuts your fringe too short. In

your head you’re screaming,

but on your face: nothing.

It’s a part of the game we

don’t really consider, but a

good chant can affect a

player’s whole career, and it’s

almost always down to the

luck of their name. You ask the

casual fan about Will Grigg’s

Euro 2016 campaign and they

will probably tell you he was

on fire (and as a result, the

defences of every other nation

were terrified). This is purely

because his name was the only

one in the Northern Ireland

squad that fit the Nineties hit

Freed From Desire. He actually

didn’t play a single minute.

Equally, chants can define

you in a negative way. Jason

Lee scored 118 goals across a

20-year career, but will always

be remembered for having “a

pineapple on his head”. And

you get the feeling Grimsby

Town’s Lenell John-Lewis

could never do anything on

the pitch to overshadow the

fact that “his name is a shop”.

My favourite chants are

the food-based ones: “You

should have stayed in a

burger,” directed at the

Colchester United goalkeeper

Dean Gerken, and, the

greatest of the modern era,

“You’re just a s*** Tesco

sandwich,” sung at the

Dagenham & Redbridge

goalkeeper Elliot Justham.

Recently the former Spurs

left back Benoît Assou-Ekotto

spoke of his take-it-or-leave-it

attitude to football. Could this

be down to the fact that he has

a name that is impossible to fit

into an existing song structure?

Possibly. But sometimes the

complicated name leads to its

own chant. The former

Everton midfielder Diniyar

Bilyaletdinov used to be

serenaded with: “He’s quick,

he’s tame, we can’t pronounce

his name, Russian lad, Russian

lad.” It could be worse. He

could still play for Everton.

Sky Bet Championship

Home Away
PWD L F AWD L F AGDPts
W1 Fulham.......................31 10 4 3 41 15 9 3 2 38 13 51 64
W2 Bournemouth......... 308 3 3 29 15 9 4 3 20 11 23 58
W3 Blackburn.................32 10 3 3 31 19 5 6 5 14 14 12 54
W4 QPR............................. 328 6 3 24 14 7 2 6 23 23 10 53
W5 Huddersfield...........^33853 22 16^66 5 20 19^753
Y6 Sheffield United...... 317 3 4 23 11 7 5 5 20 22 10 50
Z7 Middlesbrough........31 10^2 4 25 14^456 14 17^849
Y8 Luton Town.............. 318 5 3 26 17 5 4 6 17 19 748
Z 9 Nottingham Forest 316 4 6 21 20 7 4 4 22 13 10 47
Y10Coventry.................... 319 3 4 24 14 4 5 6 16 22 447
Z11 West Bromwich...... 328 6 1 218 4 4 9 13 20 6 46
Z12 Preston......................^33583 22 20 6^47 15 18-1^45
W13 Stoke........................... 317 4 5 24 18 5 4 6 16 16 644
Y14 Millwall.......................^3185 3 20 13^357 13 20 0^43
Z15 Blackpool.................. 328 2 7 17 18 3 7 5 18 20 -3 42
Y16 Bristol City................ 337 5 5 22 21 4 2 10 22 38 -15 40
Z17 Swansea..................... 317 4 4 19 14 3 4 9 13 29 -11 38
W18 Birmingham............. 336 4 6 21 21 3 6 8 18 30 -12 37
Y19 Cardiff........................^32529 18 21^547 21 30 -12^36
Z 20 Hull.............................. 335 3 8 15 18 4 4 9 12 19 -10 34
W^21 @Reading^3244 8 23 34^51 10 16 28 -23^26
Y22*Derby........................ 328 6 2 22 14 2 6 8 11 21 -2 21
Z23Peterborough.......... 314 5 6 15 18 1 1 14 8 43 -38 21
W 24 Barnsley..................... 313 4 8 917 04 12 10 29 -27 17

• deducted 21pts for breaching financial rules and going into administration
  @ deducted 6pts for breaching financial rules

Sky Bet League One

Home Away

PWD L F AWD L F AGDPts

W1 Rotherham...............32 11^32 35 14 10^332353969

W2 Wigan........................ 309 3 3 23 14 10 3 2 30 14 25 63

W3 MK Dons...................^3384 4 20 15^953 33 20 18^60

Y4 Oxford United.........33 10 4 3 35 20 6 4 6 25 21 19 56

Y5 Plymouth................... 318 3 3 20 13 8 5 4 34 23 18 56

Z6 Wycombe................. 329 4 3 29 23 6 6 4 23 17 12 55

Z7 Sunderland..............33 11 1 4 33 13 5 6 6 24 33 11 55

W8 Sheffield Wed.........^32942 23 12^665 22 23 10^55

W9 Ipswich...................... 338 6 2 29 19 6 3 8 23 19 14 51

W10Bolton........................^33943 32 18^52 10 20 26 8^48

W11 Portsmouth............. 308 3 4 24 15 4 5 6 14 16 744

Y12 Burton Albion......... 338 4 5 28 20 4 3 9 13 24 -3 43

Z13 Accrington............... 329 4 4 29 23 3 3 9 12 26 -8 43

Y14 Cambridge United. 326 6 4 21 19 4 5 7 21 26 -3 41

W15 Cheltenham............. 327 6 4 21 23 2 7 6 22 31 -11 40

Z16 Charlton.................... 327 3 6 24 21 4 3 9 17 22 -2 39

W17 Lincoln City...............^31449 16 22^54 5 20 19 -5^35

W18 Shrewsbury............. 327 4 4 18 14 1 6 10 10 19 -5 34

W19 Fleetwood Town.... 315 5 6 26 25 2 6 7 18 28 -9 32

W 20 AFC Wimbledon..... 322104 19 22 4 3 9 18 29 -14 31

W21 Morecambe............. 325 6 6 25 28 2 3 10 18 33 -18 30

W22Gillingham................ 334 4 9 12 30 1 7 8 14 25 -29 26

Y23Doncaster................. 34 4 3 10 13 28 3 113 11 38 -42 25

Z^24 Crewe.........................^32447 15 25^1313 11 33 -32^22

Sky Bet League Two

Home Away

PWD L F AWD L F AGDPts

W1 Forest Green 31 11^23 27 11^87 0 34 14 36^66

W2 Tranmere..................33 12 1 4 24 11 4 7 5 10 12 1156

W3 Northampton...........31 10^2 4 22 10^654 16 15 13^55

W4 Exeter City............... 308 5 2 24 14 6 6 3 21 16 15 53

W5 Sutton United.......... 329 4 3 24 14 5 5 6 22 24 8 51

W6 Mansfield Town.....30 11 3 3 29 18 3 5 5 1115 750

Y7 Swindon..................... 314 7 4 21 17 9 3 4 28 21 1149

Z8 Newport County....^3275 3 30 18^65 6 20 24 8^49

W9 Port Vale................... 296 5 4 19 13 6 4 4 23 17 12 45

W10Salford .......................^31663 17 12^628 18 17^644

Y11 Bristol Rovers......... 308 2 5 22 18 4 6 5 20 21 344

Y12 Hartlepool................. 319 5 2 22 14 2 3 10 9 25 -8 41

Z13 Bradford City.......... 324 8 3 21 18 5 5 7 15 20 -2 40

Z14 Crawley Town........ 304 4 6 17 21 7 3 6 20 20 -4 40

Z15 Harrogate Town.... 305 5 5 24 21 5 3 7 23 27 -1 38

Y16 Walsall........................ 315 5 6 21 22 4 3 8 11 17 -7 35

Y17 Rochdale..................^29373 17 15^46 6 20 24 -2^34

Z18 Leyton Orient......... 296 4 5 24 11 1 8 5 14 18 933

Z19 Stevenage................ 336 6 5 21 23 1 6 9 9 27 -20 33

W 20 Barrow........................ 313 7 6 16 20 4 3 8 14 19 -9 31

W21 Colchester................. 313 6 5 14 18 4 4 9 14 26 -16 31

Y22Oldham..................... 304 3 8 20 26 3 5 7 10 20 -16 29

Z23Carlisle....................... 313 7 6 10 18 3 3 9 13 27 -22 28

W^24 Scunthorpe..............^32349 12 23^169 11 32 -32^22

Bristol City 2 Middlesbro 1
Semenyo 68
Weimann 7

Crooks 90

20,148

Cardiff 1 Blackpool 1
Bagan 49
19,025

Ekpiteta 11

Coventry 1 Barnsley 0
Hyam 90+3 17,104

Derby 1 Peterboro 0
Sibley 90+2 30,251
Sent off: T Lawrence (Derby) 47;
H Coulson (Peterborough) 35
Fulham 1 Huddersfld 2
De Cordova-
Reid 82
19,001

Ward 31
Holmes
43 (pen)
Luton 2 West Brom 0
Jerome 55
Campbell 82

10,021

Preston 2 Reading 3

Johnson 57

Archer 74

12,817

João 2, 19

Swift 55

QPR 1 Hull 1

Chair 75

14,945

Forss 26

Sheff Utd 4 Swansea 0

Gibbs-White

14, 78

Baldock 17

Sharp 38

26,564

Stoke 2 Birminghm 2

Campbell

25, 52

23,502

James 12

Gardner 58

Bolton 4 Wimbledn 0

Bodvarsson

36

Afolayan 56

Charles 67

Bakayoko 87

14,537

Cambridge 2 Accrington 0

Smith 66

Hoolahan

90+5

5,602

Charlton 0 Oxford Utd 4

14,029 Taylor 21, 28

Baldock 54

Brannagan 83

Sent off: S Clare (Charlton) 62

Doncaster 1 Sheff Wed 3

Gardner

45 (pen)

11,217

Paterson 70

Berahino 80

Bannan 83

Gillingham 0 Plymouth 2

5,197 Garrick 46

Jephcott

76 (pen)

Ipswich 3 Burton Alb 0

Jackson 1

Burns 62

Celina 78

20,516

Sunderland 1 MK Dons 2

Stewart 59

30,451

Eisa 48

Wickham 76

Wycombe 5 Cheltenhm 5

Obita 26, 31

Hanlan 33

Vokes 68, 69

5,574

May

3, 52, 71, 81

Etete 66

Carlisle 0 Swindon 3

4,345 McKirdy 17

Davison 55

Barry 57

Forest Grn 0 Walsall 1

3,122 Miller 12

Hartlepool 1 Sutton Utd 1

Crawford 51

5,487

Kizzi 3

Newport Co 1 Mansfield 1

Telford

82 (pen)

Pask 68 (og)

3,956

Sent off: J-J O’Toole

(Mansfield) 73

Northmptn 3 Colchester 0

Horsfall 16

Hoskins 49

Ashley-Seal

90+4

5,309

Oldham 2 Bradford C 0

Hope 19

Keillor-Dunn

24

7,7 1 6

Sent off: P O’Connor

(Bradford City) 71

Scunthorpe 1 Rochdale 2

Onariase 13

2,548

Kelly 51

Taylor 83

Stevenage 0 Bristol Rov 4

3,538 Finley 36

Anderson 50

Anderson 54

Collins 74

Tranmere 1 Port Vale 1

Hawkes 50

7,456

Proctor 90+4

TOP SCORERS
31 Mitrovic (Fulham, right)
20 Díaz (Blackburn)
19 Solanke (Bournemouth)
16 Weimann (Bristol City)
12 Adebayo (Luton Town)
12 Grabban (Nottm Forest)
TOP ASSISTS

TOP SAVES

12 Swift (Reading)
10 Willock (QPR)
10 Wilson (Fulham)
9 Giles (Blackburn)
8 Jones (Middlesbrough)
8 Robinson (West Bromwich)

108 Collins (Barnsley)
103 Nicholls (Huddersfield)
87 Southwood (Reading)
85 Travers (Bournemouth)
84 Samba (Nottm Forest)
82 Bialkowski (Millwall)

TOP SCORERS

19 Stewart (Sunderland, right)

18 Stockton (Morecambe)

17 Smith (Rotherham United)

16 Taylor (Oxford)

15 Keane (Wigan)

15 May (Cheltenham Town)

TOP ASSISTS

TOP SAVES

12 McConville (Accrington)

9 Twine (MK Dons)

9 Whyte (Oxford)

8 Lane (Fleetwood)

7 Neil (Sunderland)

7 Obita (Wycombe)

111 Cumming (MK Dons)

108 Stockdale (Wycombe)

101 Marosi (Shrewsbury)

96 Griffiths (Lincoln)

91 Garratt (Burton Albion)

89 Mitov (Cambridge)

TOP SCORERS

22 Telford (Newport Co, right)

20 Stevens (Forest Green)

17 Matt (Forest Green)

13 McKirdy (Swindon)

11 Smith (Leyton Orient)

10 Armstrong (Harrogate Town)

TOP ASSISTS

TOP SAVES

12 Wilson (Forest Green)

11 Pinnock (Northampton)

9 Cadden (Forest Green)

9 Oliver Cooper (Newport Co)

8 Brown (Exeter)

8 Matt (Forest Green)

93 Morris (Crawley)

89 Bouzanis (Sutton United)

87 Farman (Barrow)

87 Roberts (Northampton)

85 Wollacott (Swindon)

83 Watson (Scunthorpe)

31 19

Fixtures

Kick-off 7.45 unless stated

Tomorrow

Champions League: Round of

16, first leg (8.0): Chelsea v Lille;

Villarreal v Juventus.

Sky Bet Championship Bristol

City v Coventry; Hull v Barnsley;

Middlesbrough v West Bromwich;

Preston v Nottingham Forest;

Reading v Birmingham (8.0);

Swansea v Bournemouth. League

One Bolton v Lincoln (8.0);

Cambridge Utd v Plymouth;

Charlton v Milton Keynes Dons;

Crewe v Oxford Utd; Doncaster v

Accrington Stanley; Fleetwood v

Sheffield Wednesday; Gillingham

v AFC Wimbledon; Ipswich v

Cheltenham; Rotherham v

Morecambe; Shrewsbury v

Portsmouth; Sunderland v Burton

Albion; Wycombe v Wigan.

League Two Bradford City v

Harrogate; Colchester v

Hartlepool; Leyton Orient v

Bristol Rovers; Rochdale v Port

Vale; Scunthorpe v Northampton;

Swindon v Walsall.

Vanarama National League

Aldershot v Dover; Barnet v

King’s Lynn; Chesterfield v

Wrexham; Dagenham &

Redbridge v Woking; Eastleigh v

Southend; Maidenhead v Yeovil;

Notts County v Halifax; Solihull

Moors v Wealdstone; Torquay v

Boreham Wood; Weymouth v

Bromley.

Cinch Scottish Championship

Partick v Morton. League One

Falkirk v Peterhead. League Two

Kelty Hearts v Cowdenbeath.

Wednesday

Champions League: Round of

16, first leg (8.0): Atletico Madrid

v Manchester Utd; Benfica v Ajax.

Premier League Burnley v

Tottenham (7.30); Liverpool v

Leeds; Watford v Crystal Palace

(7.30).

Sky Bet Championship Derby v

Millwall; Fulham v Peterborough;

Huddersfield v Cardiff; QPR v

Blackpool; Sheffield Utd v

Blackburn; Stoke v Luton.

Cinch Scottish Premiership

Dundee v St Mirren.

Women’s international England

v Germany (7.30).

Thursday

Europa League Round of 32,

second leg Braga (0) v Sheriff (2)

(8.0); Dinamo Zagreb (1) v Seville

(3) (5.45); Lazio (1) v Porto (2)

(5.45); Napoli (1) v Barcelona (1)

(8.0); Olympiacos (1) v Atalanta

(2) (5.45); Rangers (4) v Borussia

Dortmund (2) (8.0); Real Betis (3)

v Zenit (2) (8.0); Real Sociedad (2)

v RB Leipzig (2) (5.45).

Europa Conference League:

Round of 16, second leg Bodo/

Glimt (3) v Celtic (1) (5.45)

Premier League Arsenal v

Wolverhampton.

Friday

Premier League Southampton v

Norwich (8.0).

Cinch Scottish Championship

Hamilton v Inverness CT. League

Two Edinburgh City v

Cowdenbeath.

Kick-off 3.0 unless stated

Saturday

Premier League Brentford v

Newcastle; Brighton v Aston Villa;

Crystal Palace v Burnley; Everton

v Manchester City (5.30); Leeds v

Tottenham (12.30); Manchester

Utd v Watford.

Sky Bet Championship Barnsley

v Middlesbrough; Birmingham v

Huddersfield; Blackburn v QPR

(12.30); Blackpool v Reading;

Bournemouth v Stoke; Cardiff v

Fulham; Coventry v Preston;

Luton v Derby; Millwall v

Sheffield Utd; Nottingham Forest

v Bristol City; Peterborough v

Hull. League One AFC

Wimbledon v Doncaster;

Accrington Stanley v Wycombe;

Burton Albion v Shrewsbury;

Cheltenham v Crewe; Lincoln v

Gillingham; Milton Keynes Dons v

Bolton; Morecambe v Ipswich;

Oxford Utd v Cambridge Utd;

Plymouth v Rotherham;

Portsmouth v Fleetwood;

Sheffield Wednesday v Charlton;

Wigan v Sunderland. League

Two Barrow v Harrogate;

Bradford City v Mansfield;

Colchester v Oldham; Crawley v

Forest Green; Leyton Orient v

Carlisle; Newport County v

Tranmere; Port Vale v Stevenage;

Rochdale v Northampton; Sutton

Utd v Scunthorpe; Swindon v

Salford; Walsall v Hartlepool.

Vanarama National League

Altrincham v Dagenham &

Redbridge; Boreham Wood v

Eastleigh; Chesterfield v Yeovil

(5.20); Dover v Grimsby; Halifax v

Barnet; King’s Lynn v

Maidenhead; Southend v Solihull

Moors; Stockport County v

Weymouth; Wealdstone v

Torquay; Woking v Notts County;

Wrexham v Aldershot.

Cinch Scottish Premiership

Aberdeen v Dundee Utd; Dundee

v Livingston; Ross County v St

Johnstone; St Mirren v Hearts.

Cinch Scottish Championship

Ayr v Queen of the South;

Dunfermline v Kilmarnock;

Morton v Arbroath; Raith v

Partick. League One

Airdrieonians v Clyde; Alloa v

Cove Rangers; Falkirk v East Fife;

Peterhead v Dumbarton; Queen’s

Park v Montrose. League Two

Elgin v Stirling Albion; Kelty

Hearts v Annan; Stenhousemuir v

Forfar; Stranraer v Albion.

Sunday

Carabao Cup final Chelsea v

Liverpool (4.30, at Wembley

Stadium).

Premier League West Ham v

Wolverhampton (2.0).

Cinch Scottish Premiership

Hibernian v Celtic (midday);

Rangers v Motherwell (3.0).

Dundee United......... 27 9 7 11 22 28 -6 34
Motherwell................ 27 9 7 11 28 40-12 34
St Mirren.................... 26 7 12 7 26 35 -9 33
Aberdeen................... 27 8 7 12 32 34 -2 31
Livingston.................. 27 8 7 12 26 34 -8 31
Ross County.............. 27 6 9 12 38 46 -8 27
St Johnstone............. 27 5 8 14 17 32-15 23
Dundee....................... 26 5 6 15 23 45 -22 21
Cinch Scottish Championship
Hamilton Acad^1 Morton^0
Spence 47 1,360
Inverness CT 1 Ayr United 2
Nicolson 86
1,850

McGinty 35
Adeloye 64
Sent off: D Carson (Inverness CT) 68
Kilmarnock^3 Raith Rovers^0
McGinn 5
Lafferty 12, 63

4,080

Queen of the South^0 Arbroath^0
1,067
P WD L F A GD Pts
Arbroath.................... 25 12 10 3 38 18 20 46
Kilmarnock............... 26 14 4 8 34 19 15 46
Inverness CT............26 10 9 7 34 25 9 39
Raith Rovers............. 26 9 11 6 34 30 4 38
Partick Thistle..........22 10 7 5 37 22 15 37
Hamilton Acad......... 26 7 9 10 28 40-12 30
Ayr United................. 26 7 8 11 25 39-14 29
Morton........................ 25 6 9 10 29 35 -6 27
Dunfermline Ath..... 25 4 11 10 24 40 -16 23
Queen of South....... 25 4 8 13 25 40-15 20
League One
Cove Rangers^2 Falkirk^0
Megginson 25
Fyvie 64

1,101

Sent off: B McKay (Falkirk) 77
Dumbarton^1 Alloa Athletic^2
Paton 45
678

Cawley 22
King 82
East Fife 1 Queen’s Park 1
Ferrie 6 (og) Brown 20
Montrose^1 Clyde^1
Lyons 32
722

McAllister 28

Sent off: B Lyons (Montrose) 80

Peterhead^0 Airdrieonians^1

553 Afolabi 28

P W D L F A GD Pts

Cove Rangers.......... 2616 7 3 49 22 27 55

Airdrieonians........... 2615 5 6 45 29 16 50

Montrose................... 26 11 11 4 41 25 16 44

Queen’s Park............ 25 7 15 3 39 25 14 36

Falkirk......................... 25 9 5 11 36 38 -2 32

Clyde........................... 26 7 10 9 31 43-12 31

Alloa Athletic........... 26 7 7 12 33 44 -11 28

Dumbarton............... 26 7 5 14 37 52-15 26

Peterhead.................. 24 6 6 12 29 35 -6 24

East Fife..................... 26 4 7 15 25 52 -27 19

League Two

Annan Athletic 2 Edinburgh City 1; Cowdenbeath 2

Elgin City 0; Forfar Athletic 1 Kelty Hearts 0;

Stranraer 1 Stenhousemuir 1.

P W D L F A GD Pts

Kelty Hearts.............. 2316 4 3 50 22 28 52

Forfar Athletic......... 2513 7 5 46 27 19 46

Annan Athletic......... 2513 5 7 42 29 13 44

Edinburgh City.........25 10 6 9 34 37 -3 36

Stenhousemuir........ 24 9 6 9 35 37 -2 33

Stranraer................... 26 8 7 11 34 42 -8 31

Stirling Albion.......... 24 7 6 11 29 33 -4 27

Albion Rovers.......... 23 7 4 12 27 38 -11 25

Elgin City................... 26 6 7 13 24 40 -16 25

Cowdenbeath........... 23 5 414 17 33 -16 19

Spanish league Athletic Bilbao 4 Real Sociedad 0;

Cádiz 1 Getafe 1; Espanyol 1 Seville 1; Granada 1

Villarreal 4; Osasuna 0 Atlético Madrid 3; Real

Betis 2 Mallorca 1; Real Madrid 3 Alavés 0; Valencia 1

Barcelona 4.

Italian league Fiorentina 1 Atalanta 0; Inter Milan 0

Sassuolo 2; Roma 2 Verona 2; Salernitana 2

AC Milan 2; Sampdoria 2 Empoli 0; Udinese 1

Lazio 1; Venezia 1 Genoa 1.

German league Arminia Bielefeld 1 Union Berlin 0;

Augsburg 1 Freiburg 2; Bayern Munich 4 Greuther

Fürth 1; Borussia Dortmund 6 Borussia

Mönchengladbach 0; Cologne 1 Eintracht

Frankfurt 0; Hertha Berlin 1 RB Leipzig 6; Stuttgart 1

Bochum 1; Wolfsburg 1 Hoffenheim 2.

French league Bordeaux 1 Monaco 1; Lens 1

Lyons 1; Lorient 0 Montpellier 1; Marseilles 0

Clermont 2; Nantes 3 Paris Saint-Germain 1;

Nice 1 Angers 0; Reims 1 Brest 1; Rennes 4 Troyes 1;

Saint-Étienne 2 Strasbourg 2.

22

the times | Monday February 21 2022 2GG 15