The family is all-important to the human child, and, in the family,
the major role is played by the mother. One cannot over-emphasise
the influence she exercises over her children. She inspires in them
the ideals and imparts to them the culture of her society. It mainly
depends on her whether they will become useful members of the
society or will be only misfits therein.
The Qur'an fully recognises the mother's vital role in the family
and in society. The Qur'anic term for the community of Muslims is
Ummah, and is derived from Umm, which means mother. The
mother influences the family directly and the community indirectly,
but not less effectively.
The child develops a balanced personality only when peace
reigns in the home atmosphere and there is harmony and concord
between the parents. Discord between the parents is the main cause
of personality disorders in children. The Qur'an, therefore, advises
man to choose a congenial mate who shares his views and ideals and
is in agreement with him on all important matters (2:221). Marriage
is a contract freely entered into by both man and woman. The
woman is, therefore, absolutely free to marry any one she likes. Man
cannot marry a woman against her will (4:19). It is the duty of the
married couple to provide a happy home for their children.
As the woman has to devote most of her time to the care of
children, the duty of providing them with the means of subsistence,
obviously, falls on man. This division of labour is in the interest of
the whole family:
Men are responsible for the maintenance of women (in the home)
(4:34).
If, however, a woman can spare the time to earn her own living, she
is free to do so. Whatever she earns belongs to her (4:32). Man and
woman are equal partners to work as a team in running the home.
Neither of them should try to dominate and exploit the other.
Woman's rights are to be respected as much as man's. The husband
cannot encroach on the rights of his wife:
Women have rights against men like as men have rights against them in
reason and law (2:228).
The relationship between husband and wife has to be closer and
reciprocal:
They are raiment for you and you are raiment for them (2:187).
Islam: A Challenge to Religion 297