c h aP t e r 10

M

y experience in Austin unfortunately was not—to say the
least—the pleasant romantic interlude that I had anticipat-
ed. It was at first great to see Amy and Lisa, as I stepped
off the bus to their smiling, familiar faces, and gave them big hugs,
though I did notice that the connection between us wasn’t quite the
same as it had been during the wild adventures of the summer. After
all, we’d only actually spent around a week together, in the course of
our few brief visits.
After going out for Mexican food and then driving back to Amy’s
apartment, they were planning to go to a friend’s party and invited
me to come along. But it was already late in the evening, and I was
feeling exhausted from the daylong bus ride, as well as overwhelmed
by things in general—wondering in part of me what the heck I was
even doing out there in the middle of Texas. And so I decided to stay
behind at Amy’s apartment, unpack my few belongings, and try to
sort some things out. To complicate matters, later that night when
Amy got home, she informed me, almost apologetically, that she was
actually seeing someone else—and hoped it wouldn’t bother me if he
stayed over occasionally while I was visiting.
This was, in fact, rather devastating news, though I tried my
best to hide how I felt. A wave of sadness and dashed expectations
crashed over me, as my desire for a relationship was suddenly shat-
tered. I had tried not to have too many expectations, knowing that
things might not work out as I hoped—but they had been there
nonetheless.
I felt a lot of adoration for Amy. Though she was a few years
younger than myself, she had a strength and maturity amidst her