(^60) BODY LANGUAGE SECRETS Further Conversations Without Words 61
UNCROSSES LEGS, ARMS
The person is opening up to you and your ad-
vances! Extremely reliable if the openness is main-
tained. Crossed arm and crossed legs indicate a
closed mind or a closed heart, or both.
POSTURE CHANGES TO YOURS
The person's emotions are changing to match
yours when they adopt a posture similar to yours.
That's unless they've read Mirroring in this book!
SUCKS STRAW, LOOKS AT YOU Doesn't get much
more blatant unless she also licks her lips. The symbol-
ism is obvious.
Caution! Women who play Rapo use this gesture all
the time. Unless she was a bit nervous at the outset,
then gradually relaxed, this gesture is probably a game
player's move.
TURNS BODY TOWARD YOU
Powerful signal! Indicates a strong interest and
attraction. She's displaying her womanliness and
making herself vulnerable to you.
SMILES BROADLY AND OFTEN
During conversation, a broad smile indicates the
person is enjoying the interaction with you. Slight
smiles or no smiles indicate serious, intense interest
or no interest at all.
HANDS OPEN, RELAXED
Open hands indicate openness to you. Clenched
hands indicate fear or anger. Holding tightly to any-
thing, the arm of the chair, one's own leg, even one's
wine glass, is literally, holding on to one's emotions,
controlling one's self. The emotion held back could
be anything from sexual excitement or utter suspi-
cion. It's usually fear of rejection or fear of being
humiliated.
PUTS ANYTHING IN MOUTH
Sometime done by a man, but usually a woman
does this. As with touching herself sensually, it indi-
cates she wants to put you into her mouth. This ac-
tion must be sensual. If not, she's probably trying to
reassure herself with a symbolic baby's pacifier.
When biting accompanies it, anger is just below the
surface.
REASSURANCE REQUIRED
Most women don't respond directly to you and
your advances until they feel confident about their
own attractiveness and your motives. Usually, a
woman's defenses are up during early conversa-
tions. If she experiences any of this as too danger-
ous, she'll take flight physically or emotionally.
There's a thin line between being an aggressive
male and being too much for her. The less confi-
dence she has, the less aggressive you must be while
nancy kaufman
(Nancy Kaufman)
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