Body Language Secrets A Guide During Courtship & Dating

(^70) BODY LANGUAGE SECRETS
slightly up, not slightly down. Smile politely, not
sweetly. Grasp his hand completely and firmly, not
with just your fingertips. Look him right in the
eyes, and use his name, "Nice to meet you, Bernie."
Shake firmly and let go. If he's whacko macho on
this issue and is offended, it's much better to know
it now.
Also, heed the advice given to men, below, re-
garding eye contact and making yourself briefly vul-
nerable as you shake hands.
SEPARATE THE WOMEN FROM THE GIRLS
Want to attract men who like cute, delicate little
things? If not, get rid of your lady-like handshake.
That's when you offer your fingertips, tilt your
head, smile demurely and do a barely noticeable
mini-curtsy.
To attract and interest someone who wants a
woman, not a girl, you need a firm handshake.
Have your manly friends coach you until the first
impression you create is that you are a strong,
interesting person, who happens to be female.
Some macho men, and men from the old school,
don't want a woman who is an equal, so they offer
their hand with the palm facing slightly down.
That's their way of getting on top.
When you notice this ploy, don't turn your palm
up to meet his! It makes you submissive from the
beginning, not a good start. Extend your hand to-
ward him but keep your palm perpendicular with
the floor. Stop short! Don't reach out all the way.
Pause and hold it there. Make him reach for you.
This establishes your equality.
NOW FOR THE MEN
Men, shaking a woman's hand when you meet her
makes you different from all boys, most young men,
and many men who merely nod and smile when
meeting her. She immediately puts you in a differ-
On Shaking Hands 71
ent category, Gentleman.
She can't deceive your stomach and you're a fool
to ignore its judgement of her. While shaking her
hand, look into her eyes and, for a few seconds, be
vulnerable. Let her see you. See into her. It con-
firms or denies your other impressions of her. If you
know what she's really like, as opposed to what she
appears to be, you're way ahead of any competition.
So, you can adjust your courtship approach and pace
accordingly.
Although some women are a bit disoriented when
you offer your hand, they quickly recover and recip-
rocate. Sometimes it's in a submissive manner.
Sometimes as an equal. Sometimes as the opening
move in a game of Rapo. Now and then, like a dead
end bore.
I've saved myself far more than the price of a
drink by excusing myself at the earliest opportunity
after shaking hands. I'm not interested in game
players or teases. One sophisticated looking beauty
turned out to be nothing but a shy, frightened doe.
Not my type at all. On a few occasions, I skipped
ninety percent of the preliminaries based only on
the sparks that flew when we grasped each other in
this socially acceptable manner.
Warning To Men! You must have a firm, mas-
culine hand shake. If you don't, develop one. Get ad-
vice from your guy friends. You don't have to say
what you're practicing for. Feedback is necessary to
change.
The next chapter is how you go about Meeting Ms
Or Mr Right at social gatherings and meetings. ALL
that's necessary is a bit of courage after you know
the other person is somewhat interested in you. Al-
though it's written from a man's point of view (I'm a
man), the strategy and methods work even better
for women!