Life Skills & Leadership: Unit 2, Session 2: Positive Communication | Page 20 of 127
- Introduce the conceptual differences between direct communication and indirect communication. Say:
“Here two different statements with the same message:
‘Please pass the bread.’
‘The bread is really delicious today.’
How would you describe the difference between the two statements? (Possible answers: The
first is more direct. The second is more indirect.)
What message are both statements trying to communicate? (Possible answer: The speaker
wants more bread.)
Which statement is the best way to ask for more bread? (Point out that the answer to this
question depends on many factors, such as cultural perspective, context of the statement,
intent of the speaker, mental model of the listener, etc.)”
- Distribute Handout 1: Direct and Indirect Communication. Say:
“There are many styles of communication. This chart shows two common differences: whether a person
uses direct communication or indirect communication. By direct communication, I mean that ideas,
feelings, wants, needs, and requests are stated very simply, usually with few words. There is little doubt
about the meaning of what the person said.
“Indirect communication is when the person’s ideas, feelings, wants, needs, and requests are stated in a
more roundabout way that is much less to the point. The meaning of what the person said is more like a
hint or suggestion. There is also more responsibility for the listener to hear and understand the
message. If you are not familiar with indirect communication, you might miss the message.”
- Explain other specifics of Handout 1: Direct and Indirect Communication. Say:
“For example, if I say, ‘Hurry and get dressed or we’ll be late,” I would be speaking directly. I would
speak this way when it’s important to watch the time. If I spoke this way, the person hearing me would
know exactly what I meant but they might think I am impatient or upset with them. Or they might be
angry that I am not respecting their ability to get dressed on their own.
“As another example, if I say, ‘You have a very unusual opinion on that subject,’ I would be speaking
indirectly. I would speak this way when there is more than one correct answer or when I want to
disagree politely. But you would not know exactly what I really think unless you are familiar with
indirect speech and have had practice understanding it.”
- Read as many of the following statements as necessary to be sure participants understand the
differences. You can also ask them to give examples of their own.
“Here are some other examples of things people might say. Tell me which you think are more direct and
which are more indirect.”
May I have some tea? (Direct)
