Life Skills & Leadership: Unit 2, Session 7: Looking at Conflict | Page 107 of 127“The girl and her father are now in a situation where they are pushing against each other. They are
in conflict and unless something changes, one will win and the other will lose.“In this example, the girl has taken the position that she should be able to make her own decisions.
The father has taken the position that his daughter should do what he says. The position for each of
them is different. It’s what they think must happen.”- Show Flip chart 1: Interests and Positions.
“However, they have some interests that are similar. By interests, I mean the things they care about
most or that they hope will happen. Both want to have a clean house. Both want a good meal at
dinnertime. Both want to see the girl grow and take on more responsibilities.“If the girl and her father can talk about their interests – what they really care about most – instead of
what they think must happen (their positions) they might find a solution that is good for both of them.
For example, maybe the girl can go to the youth club two days a week instead of four. Or perhaps she
can do some household chores before school and have some time for herself after school.”“Your interest is what you deeply, truly would like to have happen. Your position is your opinion of
what should or must or ought to happen. To discover interests that you share, try to imagine what
you both really care about and would like to have happen together.”- Ask:
“What are some examples of possible conflict in your lives, where it might be helpful to focus on
interests instead of positions?- Be prepared to share some examples:
An argument with a parent about which chores to do (or when to do them).
A disagreement with friends about whose turn it is to buy ice cream or sodas.
Confronting a younger sister or brother who uses your things without asking.
Needing to wear a school uniform, even if it is a hand-me-down vs. wanting a new school
uniform.
Needing transportation to school and riding the bus vs. wanting to ride in friend’s car, or
wanting your own car.
Needing a computer for school studies, using a second-hand, older model vs. wanting the
newest, latest, fanciest model.
B. Summary
Conclude the activity by saying:
“It can be hard to separate interests from positions and to tell them apart. Remember, your interest
is what you care about most. Your position is what you think should or must or ought to happen.
Sometimes they are not quite the same thing. When you can identify the differences between
interests and positions, it becomes easier to see a solution.”