© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.- Going along with societal expectations rather than your own judgment
- Desire for a long-term sex partner
- Fear of dating and engaging in the search for another (otherwise known as settling,
or “better the devil you know than the one you don’t.”)
The list goes on and on. The underlying factor is inevitably understanding and
experience. Most people don’t know enough about themselves when they’re young to make the
kind of decisions and choices that a long-term commitment requires. There’s no rush. There will
always be a sizeable pool of eligible candidates for you to choose from, at any age. Don’t let
fear of being “left out” or “missing out” persuade you into making a hasty decision. Women have
a time limit on their biological imperative (having children.) You do not.
Women will want a monogamous, committed relationship as soon as they have
determined that you are a marriageable option. She will want to lock you in and keep you from
dating around, so you must be clear and careful in your communication early on as to your
intentions. If you have no intention of getting married, say so. If you have no intention to date
just one woman, say so. But also be sure to say this with your actions. If you court a woman
intensely, and spend a great deal of time with her, she will want to be exclusive with you. It’s a
perfectly understandable protection mechanism. You’d want a woman you were getting serious
with to date only you, as well.
My recommendation is to get yourself to a point where you are comfortable in your own
skin (develop the Three S’s), get enough experience under your belt to make better decisions,
and then decide what woman you want in your life, and then you’re ready (possibly) for a long-
term relationship. Until then, you are merely a seeker and learner.
Remember: You do not have to have a committed relationship to enjoy the company of a
woman.
Going Exclusive ................................................................................................................................
At some point, you will be tempted to want to take a woman you’re seeing off the market.
You’ll want to go exclusive, where you only date each other and no one else. There are only two
reasons a man (or a woman) will want to do this:
- You have a lot of attraction and interest in her, as she meets most of your
requirements in a woman - You don’t want some other guy coming along and snapping her up (see the next
section below)
Should you reach this point and decide that you do want to date one woman exclusively
(and, again, I state that this should only happen if your goal is a long-term relationship and you
clearly understand what it is you are looking for) you must not ask her to be exclusive. If you
truly want her to date only you, it must come as her choice. Younger women will want to date
around more, in general, and older women (28+) will already have an idea of what they are
looking for. No matter the age, all women will want to feel that it is their idea to be exclusive for