© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.that you aspire to a merging of your spiritual beings, and you’ll become
this all-powerful White Light of Love. Frankly, it’s a nice goal, but it’s also
not realistic for 95% of us trying to just make a relationship work just on
the fundamentals.
The only way to keep both you and the woman in your life happy is to
develop your understanding of the dynamics between men and women,
and keep your character strong. When all is said and done, that’s what
this information is all about.
Fight Against Familiarity
o There’s that saying about how familiarity breeds contempt. (This was
probably said by a woman in divorce court.) It’s actually very real,
because what we become too familiar with we take for granted, and
eventually mistreat. It’s not that we’re inherently evil, but there are some
parts of human nature that we cannot always control.
You will always have to keep her from becoming too familiar with you
along the way. The more she knows about you (i.e., the more familiar you
become) the less mystery there is. To counter this, you must always have
interests and hobbies that extend beyond the relationship. You have to
maintain a separate existence beyond the woman you are dating, and
add more to your own growth so there is more for her to discover.
Stay Sexy
o Don’t let yourself gain fifty pounds after you get someone you think you
can stay with. Ever notice how the women who manage to stay hot even
after they get married are with men who also keep themselves fit and
trim? Don’t get lazy! Stay active. The best way to keep your woman
looking good is to set an example. You don’t need to pester her to stay fit
if you do; she’ll want to keep up with you.
Keep her contented – barely
o You need to watch and figure out what your woman’s maintenance
window is during your relationship. If you go too long, she’ll become antsy
and irritable, probably complaining about the attention she’s not getting.
Some women can go a few weeks or a month, some only a few days.
Watch for this cycle and her level of fulfillment. Remember: No one is
fulfilled 100% of the time. It’s human nature to look for ways to improve
and expand your horizons. It’s what drives our species to achieve and
evolve. Recognize now that anyone you date or stay with for a long
period of time will become dissatisfied. Even being fulfilled all the time
becomes boring and unsettling. Discontent is necessary. Your job is to
monitor her level of discontent, and match it with an appropriate level of
positive reinforcement and effort. (Note: This level of effort is your single
most effective way to determine her maintenance level, too. Lots of effort
= High maintenance.)
Give her irregular reinforcement
o One principle of human (and animal) behavior is that we respond most
favorably to irregular reinforcement of our desires. Knowing that you’ll get
a kiss when you first see her is nowhere near as motivating as not