© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.Kino or Kinesthesia:
KINO OR KINESTHESIS: HOW AND WHEN TO USE YOUR TOUCH .................................................
kinesthesia (n) 1: the perception of body position and movement and muscular tensions etc. 2:
the ability to feel movements of the limbs and body
kino (n) 1: The use of touch to arouse physical and emotional desire.
There are many approaches and varied understandings about the topic of touching in
the dating journals, and at least as much confusion. Hopefully, the information that follows will
help to clarify this topic so that you can apply a strategy to your techniques of using
kinaesthetics – kino – to your advantage.
First: The Ground Rules
There are no hard and fast rules to apply in all situations. So you must be flexible
enough to employ varied approaches with your techniques along the way, as you progress
along the continuum, and in different amounts depending on the woman. Use touching less
during the first few dates, more later in the process. Nowhere is this more important than with
the fine art of touching. In the world of dating and seduction, we call this "kino."
First of all, what kind of person are you? Are you reserved? Do you enjoy touching other
people? Touching yourself? Go ahead and smile at that, but this is something to determine so
that you know what you consider comfortable. Some people are very touchy-feely, always
hugging and kissing their friends, family, dogs, and just about any stranger that comes into their
sphere of influence. People at the other end of the spectrum might cringe when a cashier puts
change in their hand. It’s all in your upbringing.
I grew up in an Italian/British family, and you could see the difference in the way we
expressed affection on each side of the family. The Italians would pinch your cheeks and hug
you until your ribs snapped. However, a kiss on my English grandma’s cheek was about the
extent of it. Ethnicity links to our family upbringing and disposes us to certain patterns of touch,
and our comfort with them. (Remember also that even spatial distance, without touching, is also
a part of kino. How far you intrude into another person’s personal space will be noticed and will
have effects. More on this later.)
One of the first things you must realize is that men, on the whole, start touching women
far too early in their interactions. Men are tactile beings, just as women are. That is, we’re
gropers. We long for the soft touch of a woman’s flesh, and the neat little parts of her that seem
to beg for our hands to go there. What we men lack is self-control. It’s difficult for many of us to
hold back, especially because men originate our experience with visual curiosity -- we see a
LoserBoy: Wow! I can’t wait to
get your hands on THOSE...