© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.INTERNAL GAME: GET YOUR GAME TOGETHER! ..............................................................................
I know you’re itching to jump forward and start reading about some of the examples and
the cool psychology detailed here, but if there’s one place I urge you to focus your attention (or
at least come back to if you do lose your self-discipline and skip forward) it’s this chapter. Of all
the things you can do to make yourself a stud and a man to be reckoned with, a guy who gets
women calling him too much, it’s to cultivate the thinking and behaviors that women find
attractive.
Before we go on, I need to point out a disturbing trend in thinking that’s pervasive in
society today, and you should be aware of it:
How people feel is considered more important than what they do.This mindset has been created by the propensity to hash out our normal emotions and
feelings in a therapeutic environment. Moods are no longer understood (I will explain them in a
later chapter) and we are expected to all “feel good,” all the time. If you aren’t happy all the time,
you need medication, or a therapist, or a new credit card. Some of this distortion is a symptom
of our overworked, over-privileged society, but much of it is a trend toward respecting emotions
more than action.
Now, before you think I’m going off on some anti-societal rant here, please understand
that I understand a great deal about psychological illness, trauma, and dysfunction, and I do not
mean to propose that we are all meant to exist in isolation, and that everyone should just “deal
with” their problems. However, I am suggesting that action can precede and affect your feelings.
If you take action towards something, you are always forgetting all the worry and angst over it
and you are moving toward solving the problem. Too often, people sit around and try to “think
through” their problems, not realizing that thinking isn’t always what’s necessary. We know more
than we think we do, and we’re confused by conflicting messages in the media and from others
with good intentions – but get little in the way of results.
Every man needs to understand that whatever you may be feeling about women and
dating – anger, frustration, self-pity, anxiety, fear – these emotions are only present when you
are not acting to realize your worthy goals. These feelings come up as a result of our post-facto
analysis, but they are rarely grounded in reality. To progress and become a Dynamic Man, one
who is attractive to women, you will have to value your actions more than your negative
emotions. There is a reason that calling someone a “man of action” is considered a compliment.
You see, there is a definite list of traits that women consistently find interesting and
attractive, and they override such shortcomings as thinning hair, an old car, and a bad suit.
Women are attracted more by the way you make them feel than to your appearance!