© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.LoserBoy: Huh? You mean I should
wait until they drop in my lap? Cool, I
don’t have to do any work.MYTHS......................................................................................................................................................
The Myth of “Destiny” .........................................................................................................................
Others (men and women) will make you feel weird about your use of strategies and
tactics because they mistakenly believe that random is better than planned. What they are
saying is that they do not have the emotional or mental self-discipline to improve themselves or
circumstances. You do have this self-discipline. And there is nothing to be ashamed of.
A lot of people you ask will tell you that you should “just be yourself.” What does this
mean? Well, first, it’s a LoserBoy excuse for you to not do anything, to not change.
They will tell you that “when the right person comes along, you’ll know. It will just click.”Wake up. This is the fairy tale illusion that leaves 50% of all marriages ending in divorce.
This is the fantasy that inaction will reap you rewards. It never does. This is the same illusion
that puts two people together out of insecurity rather than a genuine fiery passion to be
together. I can tell you in a second why those fantastic marriages you see (occasionally) are still
vibrant and last for fifty years: Neither person settled. They strove to be more than they were,
and you can damn well bet they grew quite a bit along the way. There is also commitment,
which is a natural by-product of finding someone you know is a challenge – and worth it.
Instead of coming together out of convenient complacency, you are choosing to find who
you want. You must stay committed to yourself, and realize that you need to always be growing.
That’s not being “fake,” that’s being more real than the people who tell you that learning about
dating is “game playing.” I hate to tell you, but the game is already being played. You need to
step back and read the rulebook before you become emotionally bankrupt.
Understanding a journey is not the same as taking it.The Myth of the “Nice Guy”.................................................................................................................
The nice guy listened to women’s complaining about men’s behavior and his mother’s
admonishments, and decided that he didn’t want to cause women pain. Ever. He was going to
be different. He was going to be caring and sweet and make friends with all the women, and
then he would get all the relationships and sex that those bad “players” were messing up for the
other guys. Then, he turned into a supplicating jellyfish, not realizing that he made the
granddaddy of all mistakes: He listened to what women said instead of observing what they
actually respond to. Chances are that his mother often told him, “Honey, someone will come
along. A great guy like you deserves the best. You have so much to offer a woman.”
LoserBoy: Great!
No effort on my part!