© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.- Unnecessary anger (demonstrating a lack of Self-discipline)
- Disrespect or insulting behavior
- Abuse (of any kind)
- Overtly arrogant behavior
- Intentionally inflicting emotional hurt
The Myth of the “Player” .....................................................................................................................
Another category of Jerk is the “Player.” Women use the term so liberally that you would
be hard pressed to get any kind of common definition from them. I have personally asked
dozens of women and never been able to get them to describe in any concrete terms, but luckily
for me, I can read between the lines and this is what I see as the Truth:
Women use the term Player to denote men they think might be dating many women and
who are looking for quick sexual relationships to fulfill their own needs. He’s a man that women
are afraid to feel attraction for because he doesn’t give them Trust. When women label these
men “players,” it also serves to further instill guilt in other men, to make us think we should only
seek and date one woman at a time. Women rely on the vague definition of the term to scare us
into thinking this is a Bad Man, and we willingly go along with it.
Men often shy away from this term, too, thinking that it means a man of poor moral
character who beds women indiscriminately. The Truth is that men admire the Player for his
abilities with women, but instead of learning from what he is doing right to increase women’s
attraction, they write him off as a gigolo, another greasy Euro-trash type who just has the
“knack” with women.
The moral of this lesson is to beware the term “player” in all its forms. It’s misleading,
and often downright deceptive, relying on connotation rather than definition.
The Myth of the “Natural”....................................................................................................................
Men define a Natural as a guy who just has all the right moves when it comes to women.
He seems to know exactly what to say and when, and is always comfortable around them. He’s
respected by his fellow men, and he gets laid by women.
What does he have that you don’t?
Nothing. The Natural is only demonstrating the attractive parts of his personality more
effectively than you are. He’s also going out there and getting experience. To get that
experience, he’s also getting more rejection. Hang around a “natural” long enough, and you’ll
see that while he exudes a lot of the qualities that we’ll explore here, he goes to bat enough that
his occasional strikeouts do not ruffle his feathers. Then, once he’s got the experience, he feels
an ongoing self-confidence that permeates the air like incense.
Think about it: Do you have a subject that you know well enough that you have no
trouble talking about in groups with persuasive confidence? One that comes to mind for most
guys is football. You memorize the statistics, watch the players in action, and learn enough