© 2003 – Carlos Xuma. – DD Publications – All Rights Reserved –
Unauthorized duplication or distribution is strictly prohibited. Visit http://www.datingdynamics.com for more information.It all begins and ends here. Self-esteem is a large part of the self-confidence you project,
and it’s how proud you are to be you. It’s beyond the scope of this book to attempt to tell you
how to repair severely damaged self-esteem, however, you should know that everyone, and I do
mean everyone but insane egomaniacs, has areas of low self-esteem. This knowledge should
reassure you and empower you. After all, most of the women you meet are just as shaky and
insecure as you feel on the first coffee date.
As you improve with the techniques and strategies you will learn, you will feel your self-
esteem rise, and this will fuel your progress as you continue.
The Cycle of Self-ConfidenceNo one can make you feel inferior without your permission.Suit of armor
The Truth is that no one can make you feel anything without your permission. What
someone says about you is not always true. We almost always react to what people say as if
their accusations and arguments are valid, as if they could be true.
Think of it this way: If a woman called you uptight, you’d get a bit angry, even defensive.
“I beg your pardon! I am no such thing! Why ... I ...”
Protests and arguments follow. It’s an attack on your castle. Quick, justify yourself!
What if a woman used the same serious tone and called you a green-blooded Vulcan?
You’d look at her and laugh hysterically. Why? Because you know it’s not true. It doesn’t even
vaguely describe you. No attack on your castle. It doesn’t even warrant a justification.
So what’s the difference between these two situations? Even if the first accusation
(you’re uptight) is just as false as the second one (you’re a green-blooded Vulcan), you secretly
fear that she sees something – that she might be right. You believe that because it could be
true, it really might be true.
The Truth is that we only feel a bit hurt or aggravated because of ourselves, not by what
a woman says to you. Those are just words coming out of her mouth, and they might just as