women in the Arab world, the family is a central
model for creating meaningful relationships with
others. They do not suggest, however, that women
are unaware of, or indifferent to, the difference
between those who are biologically-related family
members and those who are not. Nor does it sug-
gest that friends who are spoken of and/or treated
as kin are equated with biological kin. Further, it is
important to note that just as relationships among
genealogically-related women may be shaped by
personal preference, antagonistic histories, or the
hope for closer future ties, so too are the relations
among friends. Thus, women use the discourse of
family to imbue their friendships with culturally
appropriate meanings. Ideally, one’s extended fam-
ily members should be one’s friends; one’s friends,
if not from the extended family, should be treated
as if they are so related.Friendship and the geography
of social life
Women’s friendships in Arab states are shaped
not only by expectations of kin-like relations, but
also by geographical location, a factor that is
intrinsically affected by international and national
politics and economics, as well as local practices of
gender segregation and, in some instances, seclu-
sion. Geographical constraints and opportunities,
always socially and politically constructed, are con-
sequently imbued with cultural, political, symbolic,
and emotional meanings.
The importance of closely located neighbors as
sources for women’s closest friendships is undeni-
able in places where women’s movements are
located primarily in, or restricted to, the neighbor-
hood. Wikan, for example, argues that in the case
of Sohar, Oman, where women’s lives are strictly
defined by patterns of sex segregation and by
remaining far from the public eye, women maintain
circles of diverse companions usually chosen from
among their neighbors; women do not use the word
“friend” to describe their relationships with one
another; rather, men use the word “friend” to
describe their relationships with peers. Wikan
argues that “the very diversity [in terms of ethnic-
ity, age and wealth] of these circles indicates that
physical closeness and convenience are major con-
siderations in their formation” (1982, 116).
Spaces that are primarily female are also impor-
tant for the formation and maintenance of women’s
friendships. Suad Joseph argues that, for women in
an urban lower-class neighborhood in Lebanon,
the requirements of men’s work away from their
neighborhood left the street a female domain; for190 friendship
women, “co-residence in a street became a basis for
intimacy” (1978, 545). Similarly, Rothenberg (2004)
has argued that for Muslim villagers in the West
Bank, the “kind of family that matters” for many
women is shaped by a sense of friendship created, in
large part, through the circumstance of being phys-
ically close to one another. The role of international
as well as local politics is also central here: in the
West Bank, the ready existence of a history of ties
that can be found to link almost any two neighbors,
coupled with the pressure for emigration from the
village and the fact that many families are forcibly
divided because of Israeli restrictions on who was
allowed to return to the West Bank after the occu-
pation that began in 1967, make enduring physical
presence as well as individual preference key factors
in creating important social ties. Indeed, if almost
anyone can be considered kin (albeit to varying
degrees) and, simultaneously, the threat of depar-
ture from the village is seen as always imminent, the
people who matter are those upon whom one can
rely and those about whom one cares.New developments
The ethnographic examples discussed here reflect
the linkage between notions of friends and family, as
well as close relationships of all kinds and geograph-
ical location. A number of relatively recent develop-
ments in the Arab world have impacted on and will
continue to affect women’s experiences of friendship in
the decades to come. A process already in motion is
women’s increasing access to higher education and
the workforce, experiences that change the shape
and nature of women’s friendship networks. It has
been demonstrated, for example, that women may
become involved in political organizations with
their peers on university campuses (for example, El
Guindi 1981) and have experiences which are certain
to affect their choices of friends. The growth of the
nuclear family structure also affects women’s oppor-
tunities and preferences for large networks of
friends; while nuclear family arrangements may
allow women some increase in the freedom to make
their own choices about with whom to spend their
time, it also often increases their workload, as there
are fewer adult women to share the work of the
household. Finally, the increasingly widespread use
of the Internet and “chat rooms” have made both
international and cross gender “virtual” friendships
possible in ways that were unthinkable a generation
ago. These and other changes as yet unforeseen will
shape and be shaped by the experience of friendship
for women in Arab states and will pose interesting
possibilities for future research.