118 Leading with NLP
Once leaders have set strategy, they face the challenge of
balancing the demands of the tasks to be done with creating
good relationships between themselves and their team mem-
bers. The two are compatible: the focus on the task is
important, but does not mean relationships have to be ne-
glected.
Getting the balance right between task and relationship
can be tricky. Tasks need to be done, but people are not
robots, they have emotions, expectations and values. Creat-
ing a good relationship is part of getting tasks well done.
Tasks may be boring and meaningless unless they are seen as
steps in the pursuit of goals and a vision that the workers
value. Leaders need to motivate people to want to do the
task, to appeal to their values to get it done.
However, the more ill-defined the task, the more impor-
tant the relationships between people. Think of some times
when you were in a situation where you were not sure what
you were doing. The more uncertainty, the more you depend
on support from others. The more competent and confident
you feel about the task, the less you need that support. Sup-
port builds confidence.
So, to get tasks done well, you do need to focus on rela-
tionships. In extreme circumstances, say mountaineering, a
team needs to trust that each member of the team can do the
task and – just as important – will do it. They count on each
other. The more dangerous the situation, the more impor-
tant the immediate task, and the most important it is that the
team members trust each other. Teams without good rela-
tionships at the start may fall apart under task pressure.
I know a manager who works in the customer service de-
partment of a furniture dealer’s. Jenny specializes in getting
teams into shape. She is very good when they are untrained
and reluctant to learn the ropes. She focuses on the task.
People who like her say she has a strong directive style, peo-
ple who don’t say she’s ‘bossy’. She tells people exactly what
to do and when, where and with whom to do it. She gets the
job done, then builds relationships. She’s also good with
teams that are willing but untrained. Again she focuses on