210 Leading with NLP
sense when events come together and it is time for some-
thing new to happen. Again, we have to trust that aesthetic
sense. It is like listening to music or telling a good story.
Some stories ring true, others do not. Good stories set up ex-
pectations, they are satisfying, and there is a balance
between action and reflection that is aesthetically pleasing.^1
A vision is what inspires you, it drives the plot of the story,
but it must stay open to feedback. Values also need to be
open to feedback. Leaders may fall into the trap of fanati-
cism when they take values to extremes. Every political
leader comes to power on a vision of sorts, underpinned by
values. Yet any value loses its ‘value’ when it is pursued to the
extreme. In this case more is not better.
We have already talked a lot about the value of change as
against the value of order. Either one taken to the limit can
undermine you. There are other examples. Individuality is a
good value to have and so is a belief in the importance of re-
lationships. Pursuing either to the limit, though, would not
be healthy. The same goes for task and relationship, and
complete trust or complete mistrust. Keeping a balance of
values, especially those that are the most important to you,
keeps you out of the trap of thinking you know what is best
for others and forcing your solutions on them.^2
The Paradox of Values
Think of a value that is very important to you, either in
your personal life or in the business organization where
you work. Ask yourself some questions to explore the
limit of this value:
What vision is this value in the service of?
What is it a guiding principle for?
How does it help me towards my vision?
How might it hinder me if I took it to extremes?
What is the opposite value that would balance this
value and also perhaps be a guiding principle
towards my vision?