Secure.
Comfortable.
In this zone, you know what to expect, and therefore don’t have to worry about feeling
afraid. And more often than not, you won’t want to leave your comfort zone, because
approaching someone introduces the prospect of uncertainty into your life. It takes
EFFORT to get out of your comfort zone, and most of the time, people prefer to be lazy
and stay comfortable, rather than do the work it takes to meet their goals.
This comfort zone can be the bane of your social existence. And this is the first barrier
you have to approaching a woman you desire.
But there is a second barrier that exists, and this is often the hardest one to overcome.
Even those who do the work to leave their comfort zone must face this barrier before they
can proceed.
This barrier is what causes your stomach to tighten and contract. It’s what causes your
heart to beat faster. It’s what causes you to break into a cold sweat and your palms to go
clammy.
It’s fear.
But it’s not the type of fear you might think.
Many guys will site their “fear of rejection” as the thing that hinders them from
approaching women, but I disagree with this.
Now, this is my theory, and you have every right to disagree with this theory because I
have no scientific evidence to back it up. But this is what I think most guys suffer from:
Fear of Loss.
I know it sounds crazy, especially considering you don’t have the woman you want yet,
so how can you lose her?
Well, let me expound on this kookie theory of mine a bit.
When you see a girl you’re attracted to, that you KNOW you want to have sex with, what
happens? Do you get that funny feeling down below, like when you used to climb the
rope in gym class? Do you imagine holding her in your arms, making sweet monkey
love all night long? Do you fantasize about how her breasts feel or how her lips taste?
Or do you just know that “Girl give you raging BO-NAR!”?
Call it desire, call it lust, call it whatever you want. But you have to admit one thing to
yourself:
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