The Art of Approaching

(Rick Simeone) #1

THE ART OF INFLUENCE


When you boil everything down to its core, the art of seduction is really nothing more
than the art of influencing others.


The word “Influence” has a lot of negative connotations attached to it. People associate it
with being “manipulative.” But if you look at what Influence really means, you’ll see it’s
actually quite a benign concept.


Influence means change, pure and simple. The art of influence is the act of creating
change in some way.


Change can be in an attitude, it can be in a perception, or a behavior. But in all instances,
we can't lay claim to influence until we can demonstrate that we've changed someone.


When applied to the concept of dating, Influence has to do not only with changing a girl’s
attitude and opinion about you, but changing your attitude and opinion about yourself.


We all have the potential to be influential, although some of us make more use of it than
others. To say influencing others is a bad thing is a misnomer. We are influenced every
day. Commercials influence us to buy certain things, politicians influence us to vote a
certain way, religious leaders influence us to live a certain way and believe certain things,
we influence our friends to go out with us on a Friday night.


Influence is all around us. To write it off as something bad or manipulative is to dismiss
it and neglect what influences us to live our lives a certain way.


We are even influenced in ways we don’t expect. When we see a beautiful woman
dressed provocatively, she’s influencing us to be attracted to her – all based on what she
wears and what she chooses to accentuate.


When we influence women to talk to us, date us, or sleep with us, we should not feel bad
about doing so. But that doesn’t mean we should dismiss ethical behaviors when we
decide to exert our influence on women.


Because the principles of influence can be so powerful in causing change in others, we
have to consider our ethical responsibilities in the process. Fortunately, the way to be
ethical in the use of these principles is the same as the way to be successful in using them.
All you need to be aware of to wonder if you are influencing someone ethically is this
simple mantra:


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