The Art of Approaching

(Rick Simeone) #1

Women have an inherent value to men – sex. Sex based on beauty. If a woman is
beautiful, that has value to a man because its easier for him to be turned on when he
makes love to her.


The problem men encounter is that they often do not present any value to the woman
before they try to sleep with her. This leads the woman to either reject the man, or cause
the man to resort to unethical methods to sleep with her.


Men who offer value to a woman – such as money, power, fame, humor, attraction,
intelligence, social status, or some other quality the woman values – is a man a woman is
willing to sleep with, because she feels she gets something in return.


A relationship that is based on an exchange that makes both parties happy is a very
positive lever for a future long term relationship.


The ethical approach to influence is to find one or more of these six principles that we
talked about. Find something that women would value, give it to them, and they will want
to give you something of value in return.


Identify what it is about what you can offer a woman that other men can't give them. It
may not be any one single thing. It may be a bundle of opportunities or benefits or
services that you can provide.


Tell them what it is that they can't get from anyone else.


If you can find this and show that to them, they'll want to move in that direction because
that will be beneficial to them.


Let me give you one quick example that should finish this discussion of reciprocity.
Something that we've already alluded to: People feel indebted to those who give to them,
and information is one of those things you can give to people.


One form of information you can give a woman is a complement – this is information on
how you perceive her.


Let's say a woman is dressed very elegantly. You recognize her style of dress, approach
her, and say something like “I just have to tell you, you look stunning in that outfit. You
have amazing fashion sense, and I just thought you should know that.”


Because of that, she's going to know two things about you as a consequence. First, you
appreciate her. Second, you made a sincere effort to make her feel good. So what does
the rule of reciprocity say? That she will be interested in making you feel good.


And when she commits herself to making you feel good, she must justify, in her mind, all
the things she will compliment you about.


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