Neuro Linguistic Programming

82 Part II: Winning Friends and Influencing People

tendency) is likely to be heard saying, ‘Don’t rush, think about all the factors

and make sure that the results are right.’

If these leanings are abused and combined with a tendency to generalise, you

may end up pigeonholing people: for example, ‘you mean Tom, that geeky

introvert?’ (distortion) or ‘yeah, typical salesman, always in your face’ (gen-

eralisation). Remember, however, that people can change their behaviour

patterns, depending on the environment and situation in which they find

themselves.

Table 5-1 contains a little taster about introvert/extrovert tendencies and

how they affect your filtration process. Both of these tendencies are basic

meta programs. Although your meta programs are there in the background,

you tend to have a proclivity to focus on certain aspects of particular meta

programs, depending on different situations. For example, think of social

interactions and how a gregarious person behaves as opposed to someone

who’s more solitary.

Table 5-1 Comparison of Introvert and Extrovert Meta Programs

Introverts Extroverts

Want to be alone to recharge their

batteries

Need to have people around when in need

of rest and relaxation

Have a few friends with whom they

have a deep connection

Have a lot of friends with whom they con-

nect at a more superficial level

May take a real or imagined slight

to heart

May not notice the slight and if they do may

attribute it to the other person having a

bad day

Are interested in a few topics,

which they know in great detail

Know about a lot of things, but not in as

much detail as an introvert

Tend to be more solitary Tend to be more gregarious

An introvert isn’t superior to an extrovert and an extrovert is as good as an

introvert.

A useful way to think of how meta programs work is to imagine a sliding scale

with a tendency towards one aspect or another at a certain time and in a par-

ticular setting (as illustrated in Figure 5-2).

At work, where you’re confident and enjoy the environment, you may find

yourself behaving like an extrovert. This tendency allows your antennae to

pick up a broader band of information and has you noticing contacts and

opportunities that help you in your job. When meeting your colleagues in a

social setting, however, you may feel very uncomfortable and slide along the

scale to display more introverted tendencies. As a result of your discomfort,