96 Part II: Winning Friends and Influencing People
to adjust your language pattern so that it aligns with those around you and
therefore build rapport through the similarity of your language pattern.
Table 6-1 lists some of the sensory-specific words and phrases – the VAK
predicates mentioned in the earlier section ‘Filtering reality’ – that you hear
people say. You can start to build up your own lists and notice which words
you say or write frequently. When you have difficulty getting through to cer-
tain people, check whether you’re stuck in a rut with your own language.
Table 6-1 VAK words and phrases
Visual Auditory Kinaesthetic
Bright, blank, clear,
colour, dim, focus,
graphics, illuminate,
insight, luminous, per-
spective, vision
Argue, ask, deaf, discuss,
loud, harmony, melody,
outspoken, question,
resonate, say, shout,
shrill, sing, tell, tone,
utter, vocal, yell
Cold, bounce, exciting,
feel, firm, flow, grasp,
movement, pushy, solid,
snap, touch, trample,
weight
It looks like... It sounds like... It feels like...
A glimpse of reality So you say We reshaped the work
We looked after our
interests
I heard it from his own
lips
Moving through
This is a new way of
seeing the world
Who’s calling the tune? It hit home
Now look here Clear as a bell Get a feel for it
This is clear cut Important to ask me Get to grips with
Sight for sore eyes Word for word Pain in the neck
Show me what you
mean
We’re on the same wave-
length
Solid as a rock
Tunnel vision Tune into this Take it one step at a time
Appears as if... Music to my ears Driving an organisation
What a bright day That strikes a chord The pressure’s on
A few olfactory and gustatory words also exist, such as the following: fra-
grant, fresh, juicy, odour, pungent, salty, smell, smoky, sour, spicy, sweet,
and whiff.
Many words in your vocabulary don’t have any link to the senses. These
words are non-sensory, and because they’re ‘neutral’ you neither connect
nor disconnect with somebody else’s modality. Neutral words include the
following: analyse, answer, ask, choose, communicate, complex, educate,
experience, favourite, imagine, learn, question, remember, transform, think,
understand, use, and wonder.