Chapter 8: Understanding to Be Understood: Meta Programs 135
A similar transition can occur when you learn something new. You may have
more of an external reference at first, needing other people to tell you how
well you’re doing. Experience and knowledge can then shift the reference
to internal.You have a propensity for working at the internal end of the scale, in a given
context, when you question the negative feedback you receive, even if sev-
eral people have said more or less the same thing. You don’t need to be
praised for doing a good job because you already know that you did well.People who tend towards the internal may do well as entrepreneurs, because
they don’t have to wait for someone else to tell them what to do or how well
they’re doing it.Bosses, if they have an internal frame of reference, need to remember to give
feedback to their staff, who may have an external frame of reference and be
craving praise and wanting to be told how they’re doing.If you have an external bent, however, you need to receive feedback from
other people to know how you’re doing and to keep yourself motivated.Unless they explain the need for the outcomes they want in a job, internal
employees may prove difficult to manage, particularly if your management
style is to micro-manage. They want to do things their way and operate
from their own standards. External people, on the other hand, are easier to
manage as long as you understand that they do need direction and praise.To find out where on the scale a person is, ask the following: ‘How do you
know you’ve done a good job, bought the right car, made the right decision?’
An internal person may respond with ‘I just know when I’ve done a good job’,
whereas an external person may respond ‘My family really like the car.’✓ When speaking to a person who operates from an internal frame of refer-
ence, you may gain greater leverage if you use phrases such as ‘only you
can be the judge’, ‘it’s entirely up to you’, ‘see for yourself’, and ‘study
the facts to help you decide’.
✓ When talking to someone who’s more externally referenced, you may get a
better response by using phrases such as ‘the statistics/studies show.. .’,
‘they’ll approve’, ‘the expert opinion is’, and ‘this has sold really well’.
Going Global or Detailed
When they start work on a project or are setting a goal, some people find that
seeing the big picture is easy. Others find that getting such a global perspec-
tive is difficult, but they more easily envisage the steps required to achieve
the goals, and so they prefer to work with smaller details.