Chapter 8: Understanding to Be Understood: Meta Programs 139
If you have a sameness with difference preference, you find learning new
things easier than a person with a sameness preference does, but find learn-
ing new things difficult unless you can find familiar hooks on which to hang
new information.If you have a preference for a difference meta program, you thrive on change.
You love a revolution in your life, thrive on frequent change, and create
change for the sake of change. As with sameness people, you too have a
tendency to delete vast amounts of data, except that in your case you delete
information in which you can’t spot the differences. Some people may find
you difficult because of your tendency to always see the other side of the
coin. You love learning new things, but fairly superficially, unless you have a
real need to go into real depth. You have an easy rapport with other people
who find focusing on differences easier, but you have to make a conscious
effort to find things in common when talking to people who have more same-
ness or sameness with difference preferences.One of Romilla’s close family members sorts by differences. Until she discov-
ered NLP, communications between Romilla and her family member were
difficult, to say the least. Now Romilla really values his input. When working
on a new project, she does all the brainstorming with friends and other family
members. When she’s worked out a fairly solid idea, she approaches her
difference-inclined relative who can identify the omissions and problems that
the brainstormers overlooked. This process saves a lot of time that would oth-
erwise be wasted in trial and error.
To uncover a person’s preferred meta program in a given context, ask about
the relationship between their current job and a previous one.A person who sorts for sameness may respond, ‘There’s no difference, I’m
still writing programs.’A person who runs a sameness-with-difference meta program may respond,
‘I’m still writing programs for the accounting suite, but now I have the
responsibility of supervising three junior programmers.’The difference person may respond, ‘I’ve been promoted to supervise junior
programmers and everything is different.’Ask someone the relationship between the rectangles shown in Figure 8-2.
Each rectangle is the same size, but don’t reveal this fact before asking
the person.A person who’s operating a sameness meta program may say, ‘They’re all
rectangles,’ or ‘The rectangles are the same size.’A person who runs a sameness-with-difference meta program may respond,
‘They’re all rectangles but one is positioned vertically.’