Chapter 12: Driving Habits: Uncovering Your Secret Programs 201
- Think of the outcome you want from a networking event. Kay decides
she wants to exchange cards with at least six people who may be useful
to her (and she useful to them), in a business or social context.
- Go up to someone and introduce yourself. Kay says:
‘Hello, I’m Kay and you are... ?’
- Ask questions to break the ice. Kay’s questions include:
‘This is my first time here. Have you been before?’
‘How do you find these events?
‘Have you travelled far?’
‘What line of business are you in?’
- Stay focused on what the other person is saying as well as your out-
come for the event. Kay realises that previously she tended to get so
caught up in the content of what the other person was saying that she
forgot to swap cards, or she spent too much time with one person and
forgot to meet people. She decides that the way to stay focused on her
goal is to hold the container with her cards in her left hand instead of
putting it away in her handbag. This approach leaves her right hand free
to shake hands, while keeping her mind on her goal.
Recoding your programs
Strategies can be changed. In the road-rage example in the earlier section
‘The NLP strategy model in action’, whose agenda and best interests are you
fulfilling? When you reflect on how anger and stress can physically damage
your body, surely not your own. How about developing another strategy,
such as the following:
- Test 1 – Trigger: Someone cuts you up while driving.
- Operate: Instead of accessing all your best rude words and gestures,
think about the sun collapsing into a planetary nebula in about 5 billion
years’ time when all this angst will be completely pointless – and give
yourself a little internal smile and count your blessings.
- Test 2 – Compare: Does your strategy for staying positive work? If so,
move to step 4; if not, return to the previous step and try an alterna-
tive strategy, such as deciding that the other person has a more urgent
appointment than you. Or compliment yourself on being better organ-
ised and in control of your life.
- Exit: Choose to follow your own agenda and exit.
