Chapter 12: Driving Habits: Uncovering Your Secret Programs 203
- Test 2 – Compare: He looked at his desk, saw clear desk space, and
experienced a warm feeling in his solar plexus.
- Exit: If Tim didn’t see enough desk space he didn’t get the warm feeling
and he proceeded to tidy up further, before he exited his strategy.
By understanding his ‘tidy desk’ strategy at work, Tim was able to keep a tidy
home. He organised his cupboards to enable him to tidy things away. When
no floor was visible, he imagined his boss walking in and ran his strategy to
keep his home tidy: a very successful transference of strategies.
Using NLP Strategies for Love and Success
You behave in a particular way because you have learned a strategy, usually
unconsciously, or developed a strategy to carry out a particular function. For
instance, if your eyesight in one eye is weaker than the other, you may have
discovered, unconsciously, to hold reading material directly in front of the
stronger eye by moving your head.
The following sections show you how you can discern or be taught the
modalities of others to help you discover new skills in relationships, commu-
nication, and spelling.
Ask other people questions in order to elicit their strategies: for example, ask
‘How do you know when you need to go to the gym?’ and then watch their
eyes as they give their response (as we discuss in the earlier section ‘The Eyes
Have It: Recognising Another’s Strategy’). This reaction gives you fairly obvi-
ous clues as to people’s strategies. If you have any doubt, fine-tune the ques-
tion and repeat!
Loving the deep love strategy
Everyone has a particular strategy in order for them to feel truly loved. We
call this the deep love strategy. When someone comes along who satisfies that
deep love strategy, bingo! On go the rose-tinted glasses for Mr or Ms Right.
When you meet someone to whom you’re attracted or you find interesting,
initially you fire all your sensory modalities (which we discuss earlier in the
section ‘NLP strategy = TOTE + modalities’):
