Chapter 15: Getting to the Heart of the Matter: The Meta Model 241
NLP Meta Model
Patterns
Examples of Patterns
You May Hear
Questions to Help Gather
Information or Expand
the Other Person’s
Viewpoint
Generalisation
Modal operators of
possibility
I can’t... it’s not
possible
What stops you? Is that
true?
Modal operators of
necessity
We have to do this...
we should, ought to
What would happen if
we didn’t? Who says we
should?
Universal quantifiers He never thinks about
my feelings
We always do it this
way
Never, ever?
Every single time? What
would happen if we did it
differently?
Distortion
Complex equivalence With a name like that,
he must be popular
How does having this name
mean that he’s popular?
Mind reading You’re going to love this How do you know that?
Who says?
Cause and effect His voice makes me
angry
I made her feel awful
How does his voice make
you angry?
How exactly did you do
that?
Deletion – you’re so vague
When you’re listening, you naturally ignore many extra sounds, saving you
the effort of processing every single word. When you speak, you econo-
mise on all the details that you could share. This practice is called deletion,
because details have been removed. Figure 15-2 shows some everyday exam-
ples of deletion.
Figure 15-2:
The
language of
deletion.
‘You were good.’
‘This is important.’
‘Just do it!’
‘I‘m scared.’
‘I don’t know.’