Neuro Linguistic Programming

270 Part IV: Using Words to Entrance

Skilled therapists of all disciplines frequently work with the client’s own

metaphors to help shift problems. In the same way, you can work with other

people’s metaphors to aid communication in everyday conversation. For

example:

✓ To convey bad news like project delays or job changes

✓ To calm down an anxious teenager facing exams

✓ To explain a complicated subject to a group of people

✓ To encourage confidence or courage in a young child

You can use word-play to defuse tension, through themes such as the weather

and nature – moving from rain and storms to sunshine and calm, or comparing a

challenging situation with climbing a mountain or crossing a river. Also,

relating a message in terms of a friend’s favourite sports – golf, tennis, sailing,

or football – can help elicit shifts in thinking.

As an example, when your colleague at work tells you that ‘this project is a

real nightmare,’ you can gently drop words connected to sleep and dreaming

into the conversation to gain more information or lead the person to a more

positive state of thinking. So you may feed some of the following types of

language into the discussion: ‘What aspects of the project are keeping you

Symbolic Modelling

James Lawley and Penny Tompkins, authors of

Metaphors in Mind (2006, Developing Company

Press) have developed a process called

Symbolic Modelling. This process enhances

the ability of those trained in NLP and other

methods to work at a symbolic level with

clients. ‘Metaphor is particularly valuable with

those who find it difficult to describe what is

happening for them because of trauma, lack

of self-awareness or embarrassment,’ says

James. ‘For example, in a business meeting,

a senior leader may not want to say that he’s

scared about the way the organisation is going.

However, by getting into the symbolic domain,

he can readily admit that it’s “like a rough sea

getting more turbulent”. This enables him to

express his fears without exposing himself to

judgement.’

Working with symbols and metaphors allows

clients to feel more resourceful when dealing

with challenging topics. As psychotherapists,

Penny and James are experienced at working

symbolically with clients who’ve been through

severe trauma. Sometimes a client may find

that speaking about the details of the event

is too painful. ‘Working with clients’ personal

metaphors,’ Penny says, ‘honours their unique

experience and creates a context in which

change can take place organically. This can

happen because the Clean Language of David

Grove prevents therapists from unwittingly

adding to or changing a client’s symbolic

experience.’

We provide the Clean Language question set

in Chapter 18 and you can find more on Clean

Language and Modelling in Chapter 19.

Permission from James Lawley and Penny Tompkins.