338 Part VI: The Part of Tens
✓ Find out what makes you function at your best – gathering information
about how you reflect your experience through your senses, what NLP
calls representational systems. You can get to grips with representational
systems (sometimes called modalities) in Chapter 6.
✓ Take responsibility for your own learning instead of waiting for someone
else to do it for you.
✓ Increase clarity on what you really want in all aspects of your life. The
well-formed outcomes we introduce in Chapter 4 are fundamental to
looking at what you want. Also check out the checklist in Appendix C.
✓ Find out how to make changes at the most appropriate logical level of
experience to improve your ability and self-confidence – whether that
confidence is about your environment, behaviour, capability, beliefs,
identity, or purpose. This aspect is discussed further in Chapter 11.
✓ Pay attention to what is happening for you in terms of your energy
levels, to ensure that you don’t push yourself too hard and burn-out.
✓ Discover how to build rapport more easily: we devote the whole of
Chapter 7 to developing this important skill.
Managing Your Personal and Professional Relationships
‘Help. This relationship isn’t working!’ Having a bad relationship with
someone can be a horrible, stuck experience. The door is closed in your face.
One statement you hear a lot in NLP is ‘If what you’re doing isn’t working,
do something different.’ Fortunately, NLP offers many ways for you to get
unstuck and open the door to more possibilities. Here are a couple of
methods you can start with:
✓ The Meta Model: This model provides a way for you to delve below the
surface of vague everyday language like ‘I’m not happy with this,’ with
useful questions that gather specific information and challenge
assumptions that get in the way of happy and rewarding relationships.
When you know how to communicate more precisely, you can get to the
heart of what you and other people really mean to say. The Meta Model
is described in detail in Chapter 15.
✓ The NLP meta-mirror: This technique encourages you take different
perceptual positions. The meta-mirror is a favourite method for
exploring challenging situations through the act of examining how you
relate to other people. By taking different viewpoints into account, you
come away with fresh ideas to move your relationships forward – or say
a polite goodbye. The meta-mirror is described in detail in Chapter 7.
