Neuro Linguistic Programming

26 Part I: Introducing NLP

You can’t not communicate

Have you ever smiled at someone and said something really polite, but been

thinking, ‘just drop dead’? No? Just as well, because we bet that the way you

held your body or gritted your teeth didn’t fool anyone. We’re sure that if the

person on the receiving end of the message had studied NLP, or even had

some sensory acuity, they would detect the lack of warmth in your eyes, the

grimace in your smile, or the snarl in your voice. So even though you didn’t

say ‘drop dead’, you’re still communicating that message.

This fact is shown in a fascinating study, pioneered by Professor Albert

Mehrabian. This research established that, when talking about feelings and

attitudes – particularly when a discrepancy exists between body language

and the words being used – what you say has a very small impact compared

with the tone you use and how you hold your body. Other studies have sub-

sequently suggested that the influences, in percentage terms, are as follows:

✓ Verbal (the words you say): 7 per cent

✓ Tonality (how you speak): 38 per cent

✓ Physiology (your body language): 55 per cent

Individuals have all the resources they

need to achieve their desired outcomes

We love this presupposition because it’s so positive! This phrase means

that everyone has the potential to develop and grow. The important point to

make here is that you may not have all the internal resources you need, but

you do have the necessary internal resources to acquire new internal and

external resources.

Your lead or primary representation system

You experience your world through your five

senses – visual (eyes), auditory (ears), kinaes-

thetic (feelings and touch), olfactory (smell),

and gustatory (taste). At times, particularly

when you’re stressed, you may use one sense

in preference to the others to collect data about

your world. This system is called your lead or

primary representational system, and it influ-

ences how you learn and the way you represent

your external world inside your head. We talk

more about using the five senses in Chapter 6.