done,&it&gives&him&more&satisfaction&than&he&receives&from&his&paycheck.&A&woman&needs&
to&appreciate&her&husband&for&what&he&already&is,¬&for&what&he&could&become,&if&he&
lived&up&to&her&standards.&For&some&men—those&with&fragile&selfSimages—admiration&
also&helps&them&believe&in&themselves.&Without&it&these&men&seem&inherently&more&
defensive&about&their&shortcomings....While&criticism&causes&men&to&become&defensive,&
admiration&energizes&and&motivates&them.&A&man&expects—and&needs—his&wife&to&be&
his&most&enthusiastic&fan.&He&draws&confidence&from&her&support&and&can&usually&
achieve&far&more&with&her.^1 &
&
If&you&have&been&withholding&admiring&words&from&your&husband,&it&may&feel&strange&to&begin.&
First&and&foremost,&be&authentic—be&real.&If&you&contrive&admiring&words,&he&will&be&able&to&tell.&
Start&with&one&compliment&or&one&word&of&appreciation.&It&may&be&as&simple&as&“thank&you”&and&
soon&the&admiration&will&begin&to&flow...hopefully&both&ways.&
&
Romance'Challenge'
- Make&a&list&of&ten&to&fifteen&reasons&you&appreciate&your&husband&and&send&it&to&him&in&
an&eSmail&or&post&it&on&the&steering&wheel&of&his&car.&
& - Write&your&husband&a&thankSyou¬e,&thanking&him&for&something&he&did&for&you.&It&
could&be&as&simple&as&thanking&him&for&working&hard&for&your&family,&cutting&the&grass,&
keeping&up&with&the&insurance.&
& - Plan&a&date&night&and&make&all&the&arrangements.&
& - Put&on&a&splash&of&body&spray&or&his&favorite&perfume.&Make&sure&he&gets&a&good&whiff&of&
it&before&he&leaves&for&work&in&the&morning.&
&
(^1)
Dr. Willard Harley, His Needs Her Needs (Grand Rapids, MI: Fleming H. Revell, 1986), p. 151.