Day'7'
'
Keeping'Daddy'First'
'
Do&you&remember&that&old&childhood&chant...&“First&comes&love,&then&comes&marriage,&then&
comes&Susie&with&the&baby&carriage”?&Did&you&ever&wonder&why&there&wasn’t&a&second&verse?&
I’ve&watched&what&happens&to&couples&after&the&babies&start&to&come.&Too&many×&a&
husband&gets&pushed&out&of&his&first&place&position&and&has&to&resign&himself&to&playing&second&
fiddle.&Obviously,&a&child&requires&more&time&and&energy&than&a&grown&man,&but&it&is&the&skillful&
wife&who&reassures&her&man&that&he&is&still&number&one&in&her&heart.&
&
Rob&Parsons,&author&of&the& 60 (Minute%Marriage%Builder,&wrote&about&the&adjustment&his&
marriage&went&through&after&the&birth&of&their&first&child.&&
&
I&have&sympathy&for&the&person&who&said,&“Insanity&is&hereditary—you&get&it&from&your&
kids!”&I&don’t&think&I&could&love&my&children&more,&but&why&didn’t&anybody&warn&my&wife&
and&me&of&the&changes&they&were&going&to&cause&in&our&relationship?&One&minute&Diane&
and&I&were&spending&our&evenings&taking&walks&together,&visiting&friends,&and&reading&in&
front&of&the&fire.&The&next&we&were&walking&the&halls&at&midnight&singing&nursery&rhymes&
and&dealing&with&postpartum&depression—in&me!^5 &
&
A&mother&should&never&feel&guilty&for&putting&her&husband&before&her&children.&Giving&them&the&
security&of&knowing&that&their&parents&love&each&other&is&one&of&the&best&gifts&she&can&give&them.&&
&
It&has&been&said&that&sex%makes%little%kids,%and%kids%make%little%sex.&One&way&or&another,&having&
children&will&affect&your&marriage.&Don’t&let&that&new&little&man&in&your&life&dethrone&the&ruling&
King.&And&make&sure&that&little&princess&that&stole&your&husband’s&heart&knows&that&you&are&still&
the&Queen.&&
(^5)
Rob Parsons, “Don’t Let Your Baby Drive You Apart,” Focus on the Family, February 1998, p. 12.