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Getting Along with Parents 189
Dear Unfairly Accused,
You don’t need to be having sex for your parents to think you are. “Sex” is a word that scares
parents big-time. They may worry so much about it that they let their imaginations run wild.
It sounds like in this case your parents overreacted, but it’s probably because they want
to protect you from harmful situations (real or imagined). You, on the other hand, just want
the freedom to live your own life, without their interference.
Your parents have tried to bring you back under their “control,” but the result is that
you want to act out to get back at them. Before the situation gets out of hand, talk to your
parents. You might say, “I need to talk to you about something important. The new restric-
tions you’ve put on me are making me feel like you don’t trust me. My boyfriend and I have
a very healthy relationship, and we’ve decided that we aren’t going to have sex. So I don’t
want you to worry about that. I’d like us to figure out a way that you can feel comfortable
letting me have some more independence. I promise that I’ll act responsibly.” If you speak
honestly and listen respectfully to what they have to say, the three of you probably will be able
to come up with a solution that works for everyone. I hope this helps!
In friendship,
Terra
My parents won’t let me
meet my online boyfriend
Hey Terra,
A guy I met online wants to meet me, but my parents say, “No way!” I know what they’re
thinking, but this guy is really sweet. What can I do to get them to trust me more?
Trustworthy Tess
Dear Trustworthy Tess,
This really isn’t about trusting you. It’s about your parents not trusting the online guy because
they don’t know him—and you really don’t either. Even though this online guy may seem