The Taqua of Marriage

negative effects because her proper adab [action] positioned her marriage and
her cognition and deed in service to the 'Cause of Allah', and this, rather than
romance or ‘love’ was her primary concern, though I’m certain the ‘true
ecstasy’ of her marriage engendered a certain predisposition towards her
prophetic education. She never betrayed this holy trust of God in order to
service emotion or self-centered pre-occupations except when she warred
with Ali under the influence of Mu’awiya’s wickedness and the cunning
Jewish impositions on the Prophet’s family.

"... but if you believe, and fear Allah, and avoid evil, He will grant you your wages,

and will not ask you your wealth." (Q, 47:36)

"... nor let women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the

former." (Q, 49:11)

In marriage therefore, the few Righteous Men headed for perfection among us
tend towards emotional isolation because ― in contradistinction to the
sunnah of Aisha ― the weakness of many women is their love of safety and
attention more than respect for husband or the fear and cause of Allah SWT.
And remember, two-thirds of the inhabitants of hell are women put there for
this very reason.ix However, this weakness in the female pre-disposition exists
in order to seriously test her iman and try the patience of a good man. It is
therefore difficult for the spiritually advanced slave of God to find himself a
comparable mate or mates, because most post-modern women defer to the
service and demands of vanity, or family and tribal customs because these
bear the promise of a group-safety-net rather than having faith in Allah.
Women unconsciously prefer the earthly illusion, notwithstanding its
opposition to authentic faith and trust that Allah will 'grant them their wages'
as cited above in scripture. This mindset is common, accepted and even
defended, but is far from the praiseworthy implementation of Islam’s adab :

What prevents the progress of an individual and a group of people, from

praiseworthy beginnings, is their stabilizing themselves upon repetition and what is

a disguised social basis. - Al’Ghazali

Therefore, until a woman establishes absolute trust in Allah she may marry
but cannot be the peer of a righteous man and certainly lacks the ability to
respond as Hagar did when Ibrahim left her with Ishmael in the desert Valley