animals have mostly to do with food, space and dominance and are short
squabbles without lasting resentment or estrangement. This is not so in the
human kingdom and I shall demonstrate why as we approach human
sexuality in its diverse layers of mystery.
Humans have the capacity of thought and free will, which allows choices
based on experience and belief in addition to inherent instinct. We do not
always think before acting and often instinctively react to sentient
(physiologic) stimuli and this is typically true in the sexual realm of human
affairs. The challenge of Islam’s attempt to civilize the world is to guide this
reactionary behavior with the pious development of virtue according to the
moral imperative of Muslim etiquette or adab. This standard of conscientious
behavior is what separates us from animals and raises mankind to the office
of Allah’s vicegerent. In no other relationship is this quality of soul more
important than in marriage via the diligent management of inherent
sexuality; bearing in mind that sexuality is far more than genitals that bump
in the night!
A Tradition of Misogyny
Since human choice depends upon thought, and thinking is guided by belief
and experience, what we believe affects with its bias what we learn through
experience and largely determines how we manage inborn physiological
responses to environment and community, and most especially to the
opposite sex. And although we may intuitively doubt some of what we have
learned, often, the social pressure to conform to traditions of communalized
partiality cause us to deny our inner intuitive guide (heart) so that we press
on with the customary approaches to marriage without tolerating any rational
challenges. Most collective traditions, such as the Catholic approach, were
and are imposed or negatively modified by persons with either a poor
understanding of divine law and human nature or with suspect motivations,
as also are many Muslim conventions. Take for example the Arab’s negation
of the Prophet’s laws of inheritance for women as well as her free-choice in
marriage in order to assure male tyranny rather than provide the wisdom of a
loving patriarchal dominion according to Divine instruction.^46 I propose that
46
See Women In Islam , Chap. 3: ‘A Tradition of Misogyny’, by Fatima Mernissi