more important than anything else that a woman can do, because Islam wants men
and women alike to live in an environment which is entirely pure and free from any
motive of fitnah or haram pleasures. The flames of sexual desire and thoughts of
pursuing them through haram means can only be extinguished by means of
discharging that natural energy in natural and lawful ways. This is what the
Prophet meant in the hadith narrated by Muslim from Jabir:
“If anyone of you is attracted to a woman, let him go to his wife and have
intercourse with her, for that will calm him down.”” (Muslim, ibid, 9/178)This brings us to a sensitive issue that most people sweep under carpets
fabricated in lands of traditional taboo. Men are predominantly visually
stimulated by the shape of women and not necessarily size. If the wife is lax
in bodily discipline and loses her curves (especially waist) by means of obesity
(excess), she is automatically physiologically disqualified as a desirable sexual
partner. The fact is that most men (70-80%) simply are not physically
attracted to women who do not possess a waist/hip ratio < 90% (70 – 80 % is
preferable) and they will not physiologically respond to her because, for the
most part, they can’t. They may remain in love emotionally, but the sexual
response is not there and this majority of men will not rise to the occasion or
initiate sexual play out of disinterest despite the fact that he needs it! This
also holds true if she fails to dress alluringly or keep her hair tidy for him
when in private. An unkempt woman in a house robe simply does not excite
him and he feels he is being slighted and disrespected by her lack of alluring
deportment. After marriage, and especially after one or two children, it is not
unusual for a woman to become lax in the self-discipline of keeping her
husband’s visual attention, which, unfortunately, is his prime sexual
stimulant.
Many women suffer denial in this realm and prance about indignantly or
indifferently in blimps of excess flesh as if it doesn’t matter – unfortunately
for the many who complain about their lost amours, it does. It really is their
own fault. And please don’t blame pregnancy and hence, your husband. A 12
- 15kg weight-gain is sufficient, considering more than half of that is baby,
amniotic fluid, and placenta. More than that is sheer indulgence – i.e.,
gluttony – for which apologists market the many dietary aids that are of little
or no significance.
All studies show that women are more sexually motivated by affectionate