9.When to have kids? Obviously it’s easier
when you see a coherent career path before
you, and don’t feel you need to rush it—you
can be a great first-time parent in your
late 30’s to early 40’s. But having babies
earlier can work out fine also: it’s just dicier
to pull off.10.As in doing good science, it’s essential in
parenthood to reach out for input and collab-
oration from those who are helping you raise
your kids, including family and friends, par-ticularly when your kids are having difficul-
ties (which they all have). What can most
flummox this process is to adopt the conceit
that the difficulties are somehow the conse-
quence of your also having pursued your
own career. As they say, get over it. Your
career is not that big a deal in the big picture.11.Keep in mind that your children are
blessed by the fact that you are their parents,
fired up with intellectual drive and curiosity.
My parents were both academics, and even
had I not chosen their career track, my mem-
ories are filled with their intense interactions
and the colleagues who showed up for those
animated after-dinner conversations. Bring
your life to your kids, not with the intent that
they follow in your footsteps, but because
you want them to experience the lives of
those in quest. They may not seem all that
interested, but they’ll take it with them. ■134 CAREER ADVICE FOR LIFE SCIENTISTS II
[Don’t] adopt the conceit that
[your kids’] difficulties are
somehow the consequence of your
also having pursued your own
career. As they say, get over it.