Journal work
Spend a few minutes describing an important relationship in your
life. Take a quick break. Now describe the kind of relationship you
would like to have with this person. Take a longer break. Now
answer this question: what kind of person do you need to be in order
to have the relationship you would love? Decide on three small
behaviours of yours that you’ll change over the next few weeks.You may, of course, feel totally unmotivated to do anything about your unhappy
relationship. If this is the case, your relationship is in serious trouble and the chances
of it ending are great. You have the choice: fix it or watch it die.
Pay attention to the subtle messages around you that are giving you feedback on
how you’re doing in the world. If your relationships aren’t working and you’re feeling
like the world is against you, look at what you are putting into your world. The
universe is like a mirror – it reflects back at you what you are putting into your life.
Think about it: if you don’t study for an important exam, you’re likely to get poor
results; if you neglect your relationships, you’re unlikely to feel the love; if you
overeat, you become overweight; if you don’t fill your car with petrol, it’ll stop
running... and if you constantly sabotage yourself, your motivation levels will be low.
You are the constant in your world. If things aren’t working, look inside yourself and
change how you’re acting in your world. You have enormous power to create the
world the way you want it to be. The way you achieve this is to be accountable for
your input into the world.
This brings me to one of the most important factors that affect your motivation
levels: your relationship with yourself.
Journal work
Think about a time in your life when you were upset and beating
yourself up. Write down the kinds of things you say to yourself in this
kind of situation.Notice how you say things to yourself that you wouldn’t dream of saying out loud to
another person. You don’t say these things to other people because you take
cognisance of their feelings and self-esteem. Do this for yourself too!