Self-Realization and Other Awakenings

People would tell Robert that I was doing this or
that, which was ruining Satsang and the Sangha; or
that there was a new person who was to be carefully
watched because they had a bad “vibe” or some other
problem. Mary, Lee and I were always targets of being
bad-mouthed by each other, or by them telling Robert
all about our faults in an attempt to get closer to him;
by pointing out how faulty we were compared to how
“loyal,” “honest,” or loving they were.
Robert’s Sangha was often like the Vatican under
the Borgias, with constant intrigue and behind the
back bloodletting. Generally, it ended up with many
blaming Robert for being who he was and doing what
he did. Students never took responsibility for their
own actions and emotions, and projected the whole
mess onto Robert, or me, or Mary or someone else.
Over the 8 years I was with him, only four stayed
with him to the end: myself, Mary, Lee, and Dana. Out
of thousands, only 4 stayed. Robert was always
looking for the ones who stayed despite all the turmoil
in the Sangha.
The same is true of all gurus. Very few students
stay long, and the closer you get to the teacher, the
less likely you are to stay because others in the Sangha
begin “disinformation” campaigns to advance their
own agendas by disempowering someone else.