Self-Realization and Other Awakenings

So he began a long fast to weaken the body so that
his mind and spirit could become stronger. He had this
concept that if the body was weakened, the mind and
will would be stronger, and he could realize whatever
is needed to be realized. He fasted so long and hard
that he was very near death. All of his disciples
worried about him and beseeched him to eat. Pretty
soon he was starving to death. And at one point he
realized that his fasting was helping nothing, that his
weakened body had also weakened his mind and spirit,
and that his life force was leaving his body. So he
relented and ate some rice.
After he recovered briefly, he finally came to his
senses. He admitted to himself that he had been an
utter failure in following everybody else's precepts,
methods, understanding, and Scriptures. He realized
all this was borrowed knowledge, not his own truth. He
realized that only he can discover himself. He could
not follow someone else's prescription for finding
truth.
So, with great determination he sat underneath the
Bodhi tree and vowed to himself, that if he did not
discover the meaning of life, “Why am I what I am,”
while meditating under the tree, “I will kill myself.”
For three days and three nights he sat underneath
the Bodhi tree meditating. Scriptures do not say what
he meditated on. It really is not important. What is