Self-Realization and Other Awakenings

Not making a judgment or even saying 'self-
indulgence' in any emotion is wrong; but you have said
repeatedly that you are not all that touched, and your
demeanor would indicate otherwise.
I'm not talking about concepts, but a direct feeling
of you as it emanates from your posts.
Would you clarify this?
Ed’s Response:
Yes, the state today is much like the intensity of
my original awakening state in 1995 now. Just a vast
emptiness, inner and outer merged; no Ed anymore, no
personal. The identification is with everything today,
unlike yesterday.
Actually things and states are changing quite
rapidly. Even the quality of "depression" changes daily,
for “depression” is just a word, the actual experience
is ineffable, but I am trying to convey the “fragrance”
of that experience in words some might understand.
There are no other affects. Love, anger, fear, all
are gone, just a sense of a dense energy moving
through the totality of me.
What I am indulging in is that I have the free time
to explore melancholia, bereavement, more closely
and deeply than ever before.