The Definitive Book of Body Language

The Definitive Book of Body Language

Spacing Rituals

When a person claims a space or an area among strangers
such as a seat at the cinema, a place at the conference table or
a towel hook at the health club, he does it in a predictable way.
He usually looks for the widest space available between two
others and claims the area in the centre. At the cinema he will
choose a seat that is halfway between the end of a row and
where the nearest person is sitting. At the health club, he
chooses the towel hook that is in the largest available space,
midway between two other towels or midway between the
nearest towel and the end of the towel rack. The purpose of
this ritual is to avoid offending the other people by being either
too close or too far away from them.

Doctors and hairdressers are given permission

to enter our Intimate Zones. We allow pets in at

any time because they're not threatening.

At the cinema, if you choose a seat more than halfway between
the end of the row and the nearest other person, that other
person may feel offended if you are too far away from him or
he may feel intimidated if you sit too close. The main purpose
of this spacing ritual is to maintain harmony and it appears to
be a learned behaviour.
An exception to this rule is the spacing that occurs in public
toilet blocks. We found that people choose the end toilets
about 90% of the time and, if they are occupied, the midway
principle is used. Men always try to avoid standing beside
strangers at a public urinal and always obey the unwritten law
of 'Death before eye contact'.

Try the Luncheon Test

Try this simple test next time you eat with someone. Unspoken