The Definitive Book of Body Languageeconomic growth for communities. It also offers an explana-
tion as to why societies that are highly disciplined in
mirroring, such as the British, Germans and ancient Romans
successfully dominated the world for many years.
Mirroring makes others feel 'at ease'. It's such a powerful
rapport-building tool that slow-motion video research reveals
that it even extends to simultaneous blinking, nostril-flaring,
eyebrow-raising and even pupil dilation, which is remarkable
as these micro-gestures cannot be consciously imitated.Creating the Right Vibes
Studies into synchronous body language behaviour show that
people who feel similar emotions, or are on the same wavelength
and are likely to be experiencing a rapport, will also begin to
match each other's body language and expressions. Being 'in
sync' to bond with another person begins early in the womb
when our body functions and heartbeat match the rhythm of our
mother, so mirroring is a state to which we are naturally inclined.
When a couple are in the early stages of courtship it's
common to see them behave with synchronous movements,
almost as if they are dancing. For example, when a woman
takes a mouthful of food the man wipes the corner of his
mouth; or he begins a sentence and she finishes it for him.
When she gets PMT, he develops a strong desire for chocolate;
and when she feels bloated, he farts.
When a person says 'the vibes are right' or that they 'feel
right' around another person, they are unknowingly referring
to mirroring and synchronous behaviour. For example, at a
restaurant, one person can be reluctant to eat or drink alone
for fear of being out of sync with the others. When it comes to
ordering the meal, each may check with the others before
ordering. 'What are you having?' they ask as they try to mirror
their meals. This is one of the reasons why playing back-
ground music during a date is so effective — the music gets a
couple to beat and tap in time together.