Mirroring - How We Build RapportMirroring happens among friends or between people of the
same status and it is common to see married couples walk,
stand, sit and move in identical ways. Albert Scheflen found
that people who are strangers studiously avoid holding mirror
positions.Matching VoicesIntonation, voice inflection, speed of speaking and even
accents also synchronise during the mirroring process to
further establish mutual attitudes and build rapport. This is
known as 'pacing' and it can almost seem as if the two people
are singing in tune. You will often see a speaker beating time
with his hands while the listener matches the rhythm with
head nods. As a relationship grows over time, the mirroring of
the main body language positions becomes less as each person
begins to anticipate the other's attitudes, and vocal pacing
with the other person becomes a main medium for maintain-
ing rapport.
Never speak at a faster rate than the other person. Studies
reveal that others describe feeling 'pressured' when someone
speaks more quickly than they do. A person's speed of speech
shows the rate at which their brain can consciously analyse
information. Speak at the same rate or slightly slower than the
other person and mirror their inflection and intonation.
Pacing is critical when attempting to make appointments by
telephone because voice is your only communication medium.Intentionally Creating RapportThe significance of mirroring is one of the most important
body language lessons you can learn because it's a clear way in
which others tell us that they agree with us or like us. It is also
a way for us to tell others that we like them, by simply mirror-
ing their body language.