The Definitive Book of Body Language

The Definitive Book of Body Language

tive man the green light to make an approach. Unfortunately,

many men are not responsive to these signals, leaving the

woman feeling that he's not interested in her.

Stage 3. Preening: She sits up straight to emphasise her

breasts and crosses her legs or ankles to show them to best

advantage or, if she's standing, she tilts her hips and tilts her

head sideways towards one shoulder, exposing her bare neck.

She plays with her hair for up to six seconds — suggesting she

is grooming herself for her man. She may lick her lips, flick

her hair and straighten her clothing and jewellery. He'll

respond with gestures such as standing up straight, pulling

his stomach in, expanding his chest, adjusting his clothing,

touching his hair and tucking his thumbs into his belt. They

both point their feet or entire bodies towards each other.

Stage 4. Talk: He approaches and attempts to make small

talk, using cliches such as, 'Haven't I seen you somewhere

before?' and other well-worn lines that are purely intended to

break the ice.

Stage 5. Touch: She looks for an opportunity to initiate a

light touch on the arm, either 'accidental' or otherwise. A

hand touch indicates a higher level of intimacy than a touch

on the arm. Each level of touch is then repeated to check that

the person is happy with this level of intimacy and to let them

know that the first touch was not accidental. Lightly brush-

ing or touching the shoulder of a man is done to give the

impression that the woman cares about his health and

appearance. Shaking hands is a quick way to move to the

touch stage.

These first five stages of courtship may seem minor or even inci-
dental but they are critical to starting any new relationship and
are the stages that most people, especially men, find difficult.
This chapter will examine the signals that are most likely to be
sent by men and women - and Graham - during these stages.